The Rage of Frieza Saga
by Karatelover
Summary: Frieza makes Zarbon, Cui, Appule and their friend's lives a living hell in these stories! From impulsive decisions to strange marriage proposals and a new heir to the empire, Zarbon and friends must unscrew the pickle jars they get themselves into!
1. Chapter 1

_**The Sacrifices We Must Make Part 1**_

Zarbon was lying down in the sun next to Liya his ex girlfriend and anteater like purple alien with thick lips and huge eyes, Icey Freezer and Cooler's annoying but sweet cousin, Constantine Icey's husband and another general of Frieza's and Appule, Zarbon's best friend in the world besides Cui. They had nothing to worry about as far as they were concerned, except the bickering which usually took place between Liya and Icey.

"Zarbon do I look more beautiful than Icey?" Liya asked.

Zarbon sighed he could not bear another bickering contest right now between Icey and Liya, he had heard them bickering at one another all weekend, Liya recently threw a temper tantrum just because Icey tripped at the ball and Zarbon helped her up, if there was anything that Liya was prone to it was unnecessary jealousy.

"If I say yes will you stop complaining?" Zarbon asked.

"Of course I will," Liya said.

"Well in that case you do look rather ravishing today there so more than Icey," Zarbon said.

"That's not fair Zarbon, you know that I have hair and she has fur," Icey said.

"Who says that you have to have hair to be cute?" Constantine said laughing.

"You always shave your head like you would know dear," Icey said to Constantine.

Although Icey and Constantine loved each other very much, they bickered at one another, "Guys I'm trying to get darker, I have very fair skin and you two bickering at one another isn't going to make it get any darker, its more likely to get burnt!" Zarbon said lifting his sunglasses up.

"And we're supposed to care because?" Constantine asked.

That Constantine was a kind man, but he could be ruthless and annoyed easily when given the chance. He and Zarbon used to be rival generals before the Sayain genocide took place, in the end he helped other tope generals outvote Zarbon one to four in favor of annihilating the Sayain race.

Zarbon was the only general in the room that had second thoughts, in the end he delivered the message to Frieza that in fact it would be a bright idea to eliminate the Sayians. Of course it was Frieza's idea to begin with, Zarbon only went along with it since he was outvoted even though he hated the idea of eliminating anything no matter how horrible they seemed to him.

"Never mind so much for stating one's opinion," Zarbon said.

"Do you mean opinion or a fact?" Appule asked putting on more sunscreen.

Frieza came out into the desert where the group of friends tanned, if Frieza showed up at something like this then that meant that it was an emergency and important.

"Zarbon get your stupid Primal Changeling butt up right now!" Frieza yelled.

"I'm coming sir, sorry guys we'll have to continue this later!" Zarbon said getting up and following Frieza into the palace.

"Why does Frieza have to always have to come and get Zarbon at the wrong times?" Liya asked.

"Don't look at me," Appule said., even though clearly Liya was not looking at him at all.

Inside the palace Frieza was thumping his tail onto the ground and Zarbon did not know what to think of this, he smiled thinking that it would make Frieza feel less intense.

"Did I do something wrong sir?" Zarbon asked.

"No you did not…Its Kiwi he's sick with typhus, he drank the water on Planet Booshka after I strictly told him not to!" Frieza yelled.

"Oh no, no wonder he didn't show up to join us to tan our skin!" Zarbon said.

"Yes now you know, so I need someone to handle the finances while he's out in the hospital." Frieza said.

"Let me guess you want me to handle them?" Zarbon asked.

"You're the only one other than Kiwi that knows how to file the orders for what planets to conquer and sell to the highest bidder," Frieza said.

It was true, Dodoria could not do it because he sucked at math, Shasha could not do it because he could not read English or any other language besides his native Cyrillic language, which was actually a type of Russian dialect. Liya could not do it because she was a solder and she handled the slave courters, Appule was a nurse and just graduated from nursing school, but also could not do it because he was in charge of healing the solders up.

"I'll try Frieza but I warn you my math skills are weak compared to my military skills," Zarbon said.

Next thing you know Zarbon was in the office where Cui usually handled the finances, he had a head microphone on and a few pencils out in front of him. What Frieza did not tell him was that dealing with customers could be a real pain in the ass. Zarbon was trying to be as patient as he could be with a customer who got mad that a planet that he bided on got sold.

"No sir I've already told you Planet Zamara has already been sold to the highest bidder, would you perhaps like another planet?" Zarbon asked.

The person on the other line hung up, "Oh well he hung up," Zarbon thought.

Then another call came in, "Hello welcome to Frieza's Planets how may I help you?" Zarbon asked.

"My name is Fielding Mardock and I would love to place a bid on Planet Primal if I may," He said on the other line.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, Planet Primal was off limits as far as everyone knew, it was not only under the protection of Frieza's older brother Cooler, but it happened to be the planet that Zarbon was born on. He had not seen his planet in years, there was no way in heck that he would sell it to anyone.

"Sorry but Planet Primal is currently unavailable, allow me to read you the planets that are available for takeover," Zarbon said getting a list out to look at and read off.

"No you don't understand I want that planet so badly, I need to put my species on that planet so that we could not die off!" Fielding Mardock said.

"But sir it's off limits," Zarbon said.

"You must ask Frieza if it's available please I really need this planet for my materials," Mardock said.

"Fine I'll ask him, have a nice day," Zarbon said pushing the button so that the other line was off the hook.

He took his microphone off and sighed, he did not want his species to be annihilated despite the fact that many Primal Changelings lived on Planet Frieza and Shasha's home Planet Cyrillic. He had to protect his home planet, his womanizing and estranged dad was the king of the planet, but that did not mean that Zarbon wanted it to be destroyed.

He had recurring nightmares about when Frieza pulled mass genocide on the Sayains by destroying Planet Vegeta. Although Zarbon liked to boast about it along with the other non-Sayains, deep down inside the situation made him more terrified of Frieza and of what Frieza was capable of, therefore he tried his best to convince Frieza not to destroy another planet, which of course did not go over well with Frieza.

Appule came into the room, "Hey Zarbon I wanted to see how you were doing, I brought you some cookies to eat," Appule said putting the cookies down on the table.

"No thanks Appule I'm not hungry," Zarbon said.

"What's the matter you look almost white in the face," Appule said.

"I just got off the microphone with this customer who wants my home planet to be taken over!" Zarbon said.

"Oh boy I thought that planet was off limits," Appule said.

"I thought so too, Cooler would not allow Frieza to take over that planet," Zarbon said.

"Yah especially after Frieza tried to annihilate the Primal Changelings on this planet a long time ago," Apple said.

"What you mean to tell me that Frieza tried to drive my species to extinction on this very planet?" Zarbon asked with his eyes wide.

"Never mind we'll talk about this some other time!" Appule said blushing almost making the mistake to tell Zarbon a deadly secret that he never or may not have known.

"We must never let Frieza know that this person wants to buy my home planet!" Zarbon said.

"What are you talking about?" A shrilly voice said behind them.

Zarbon and Appule turned to see Frieza's small figure in the doorway, it turned out that Frieza came to check up on Zarbon as well.

"Nothing I got to go!" Appule said running out of the room faster than a flying squirrel.

"Hello Frieza what are you doing here?" Zarbon asked.

"I see that we have a high bidder for your home planet, I'm going to convince Cooler to stop protecting your species on this planet and on Planet Primal!" Frieza said.

"No please don't hurt my home planet, I haven't seen it for years!" Zarbon said.

"Too bad I want the money Zarbon, I need that money to build more palaces and hot tubs!" Frieza said.

"What about your people?" Zarbon asked.

"Fuck them! Fuck your species too, your species are too smart for their own good!" Frieza said.

"That's not 100% true, Shasha is dumber than Dodoria!" Zarbon said.

"He's from Planet Cyrillic what did you except?" Frieza said.

Once again, Frieza was right, most primal changelings on Planet Cyrillic were stupid, illiterate and non spiritual. Many years ago before Zarbon and even Shasha were born, the Cyrilicans wanted to break away from Zarbon's home planet and live on their own planet since they were atheists and wanted to speak Russian rather than English or Japanese or even French.

Sadly to say, most of them found themselves even more deprived since there were no books, printing press, and it got very cold during the winter months. Then a lot of them migrated to Planet Frieza to make something of themselves, they then established successful communities and all that jazz, though they were not allowed to elope with one another, talk with the other species on the planet or even look the Icejin changelings in the eyes when saying hello.

"Look I'll do something for you just to keep you from destroying my home planet!" Zarbon said.

"Who said destroying it, I meant selling it!" Frieza said.

"I'll do anything!" Zarbon yelled.

"Anything? All right, I am quite lonely and I need someone to rule my evil empire with me, so I want you to marry me!" Frieza yelled.

"Oh come on, I'm your adopted son you can't just marry me!" Zarbon said.

Zarbon would have rather of died than marry Frieza, after many years of Frieza sexually abusing Zarbon, Zarbon hated sex and refused to make love to anyone else let alone marry them, besides it was illegal for primal changelings to marry anyone on planet Frieza. It could end up with a fine or execution depending on how bad the eloping was.

"Yes you're right, damn it! I was just joking, nobody would want to marry you anyways, you won't make love to me anymore let alone anyone else! I know what I'll marry Icey my stupid cousin!" Frieza said smiling.

"She's already married to Constantine, besides you can't marry her either, she's your cousin," Zarbon said.

"I know what, I'll marry your ex girlfriend Liya!" Frieza said.

"No don't marry her, you'll regret it I promise you!" Zarbon said.

"No I must marry her or else your home planet will be destroyed!" Frieza said teasing Zarbon in the cruelest way possible.

Zarbon then had the unpleasant job of telling Liya about Frieza's proposal to her, Liya was so upset when she heard the news. She hated Frieza with a passion, ever since the day that Frieza had Shasha kidnap Liya to bring to Planet Frieza so Zarbon could have a playmate, she hated him. She hated him even more after Frieza had her husband and daughter executed on his orders.

"No I can't do it, he's a horrible man that had my daughter and husband beheaded!" Liya said crossing her arms.

"It will only be temporary I promise you," Zarbon said.

"I have no interest in becoming your mother!" Liya said.

"Frieza's not my real father, he's just my master who claimed me as an heir to the throne, he never even refers to me as a son and you know how he humiliates me in front of the other generals and Dodoria and Shasha!" Zarbon said.

Appule could not help but laugh in the background while he was reading a book on medicine, "What's so funny Appule?" Liya asked.

"Nothing except that the look on your face is so funny!" he said laughing.

"Shut up cretin! I've had a long day and I need to go to sleep, good night!" Liya said going over to her couch and closing her eyes.

Zarbon went over to the couch, "Liya dear, think about all the power you can have in the world, think about all the men that will want to court you," Zarbon said.

"I don't care about that Zarbon, I want my daughter and husband back!" Liya said.

"Ok here is the deal, maybe what I need to do is get you to see that Frieza isn't such a bad person after all," Zarbon said.

Appule lifted his face above the book he was reading, he raised his eyebrow bone, he could not believe what he was hearing, after all we were talking about a man that killed not only his own people but eliminated entire alien races.

"Frieza is good? Yah right that'll happen when I actually start shedding more fur so that I go bald!" Liya said as she got up, went over to her vanity and started brushing her purple thin fur.

Appule got up and took Zarbon out of the room, "Zarbon this is wrong, does she even know what the risk is if she doesn't marry Frieza?" Appule asked.

"No I haven't told her and hopefully she won't find out, you see between me as a general and you as a doctor, her race was exterminated many years ago and if she finds out that I want to protect my own race which is mainly located on three planets, she'll have a cow." Zarbon said.

"Zarbon Frieza just wants to sell your planet, not eliminate everyone on it, besides I'm not a doctor, I'm a nurse," Appule said.

"What you told me that you were a registered doctor!" Zarbon said.

"Well honestly that's just small talk, Frieza will not let me become a doctor, he said I wasn't stable enough to handle such stressful situations!" Appule said.

Of course Frieza did not know what he was talking about, Appule not only was working on a doctor's degree in nursing but he actually delivered babies for Zarbon's sister Miretta, Liya, and even other primal changelings and Icejin changelings. He was even a registered gynecologist assistant and in charge of healing the solders up after battle. Appule could have been a doctor and succeeded if he wanted to…if only Frieza would let him.

Zarbon rolled his eyes and then continued on, "We can't let Liya know what is at stake, she might feel left out if I tell her the truth," Zarbon said.

Later on Liya finally agreed to Zarbon's odd request, if only an experiment date could take place to see if Frieza and Liya were actually compatible enough to be together for a long time. Zarbon and Appule sat in the camera room looking at the restaurant on the TV screen where Liya and Frieza sat at a table, they even had on microphones so that they could tell Frieza was to do, since they made Frieza put in a tiny ear microphone.

"This isn't going to work," Appule said.

"She required that she go on a date with Frieza to see if they're even a match, you never know, she might actually end up liking the guy." Zarbon said.

"And you don't mind that she's actually going to be dating Frieza and eventually end up marrying him?" Appule asked.

"Be quiet let's start the commands," Zarbon said.

Frieza looked at Liya, "So you like to dance for fun?" Frieza asked.

"Yes I do, dancing is my life, and I love to yell at the girls if they don't do their ram du jams right." Liya said.

"Boy this conversation couldn't get any more boring," Appule said.

Frieza then smiled at Liya awkwardly, "I like to garden a little bit to make the place more prettier, the bad part about it is that each time I plant a flower I always have to pull them out of the ground because I forget that sometimes bright colors are horrendous to me!" Frieza said.

"Is that so?" Liya asked.

Zarbon then knew what he had to do to help Frieza break the ice, talk about important stuff that did not require talking about stupid moronic stuff.

"Step aside Appule! Frieza tell her that she is pretty looking!" Zarbon said.

"Oh that's so gross!" Frieza yelled.

"Do it or else she won't marry you," Zarbon said.

Even though Zarbon looked handsome enough to know what he was talking about, he actually had no idea how to seduce a woman or even cared to either. He was too respectful towards women to actually get into their pants when he was not supposed to. He could also empathize with Frieza, Dodoria and Shasha's rape victims more easily than any of those thugs knew how to do.

"Ok fine, Liya you look handsome!" Frieza said.

"Oh please nobody says that anymore!" Liya said getting her pocket mirror out, she then pulled out her lipstick and starting putting some on.

"Sorry dear, I've been alive for about a little over two hundred years, I'm a little old fashioned," Frieza said.

All the sudden things got really shaky when Icey and her husband Constantine happened to be eating at the same restaurant, it was Constantine's birthday and Icey insisted on going out and celebrating it with him, they then spotted Frieza with Liya and decided to walk over to them and say hello, Zarbon saw this happening and he was nervous.

"Oh no what are Icey and Constantine doing there?" Zarbon asked.

Frieza then saw Constantine, "General Constantine how are you doing?" Frieza asked as he got up and hugged the much taller Constantine.

"If you're asking if I'm still alive then I'm doing fine your sovereign," Constantine said in a rather arrogant sounding tone.

"Oh what a suck-up!" Zarbon said for this did not go over well with him.

Constantine thought he heard Zarbon's voice over the earphone, but then dismissed it as a hallucination, caused by boredom.

Appule looked at Zarbon, Zarbon was one of the biggest suck-ups that Freezer commanded, however most of the stuff Zarbon told Frieza were stuff that Frieza wanted to hear more so than what Zarbon felt in his heart.

"Constantine what is that bitch doing here with you?" Liya asked getting pissed off.

After all Icey was her biggest rival for Zarbon's heart, sadly Zarbon and Icey did not like each other like that nor even hinted it at all. It was all in Liya's head, Liya in the end was a drama queen and needed drama to spice up her boring palace life when she was not teaching ballet or going on a mission.

"Hello Liya my what an ugly dress you have on, your tits are about to stick out in a moment!" Icey said.

"Excuse me but at least I have tits!" Liya yelled.

"Why you bitch!" Icey tried to attack Liya, then Constantine had to hold Icey back.

"Stop it girls you're ruining my birthday!" Constantine said.

"Yep this is getting bad, I have no choice but to go there and make an even bigger scene!" Zarbon said getting up and running out of the room.

"Zarbon wait, you'll get lost over there!" Appule said.

Oh well, Zarbon knew where the restaurant was located, he had been there many times with his friends and Liya, it was only a few blocks away.

When Zarbon got to the restaurant he saw the women bickering at one another even more so than he overheard on the microphone.

"I'll telling you bitch, you're going to get slapped!" Liya yelled.

"Slap me then bitch!" Icey yelled.

Zarbon then stepped in, "Stop it! You two are acting like savages! You are acting below the level of your own levels!"

Everyone just looked at Zarbon, they did not expect to see him there, nor did they think to actually ask him any questions. Then the awkward moment passed and someone had to ask him what he was doing there in the first place.

"Zarbon what you doing here? I didn't see you at all sitting down and eating, you could have come over to our table and talked with us, we would have loved to have had you as company." Icey said.

"No Icey that's impossible, he would have ruined my birthday even more than you or Liya would have," Constantine said as he looked at his pocket watch, which looked like an advanced pocket watch.

"No I wouldn't have allowed him to come over to your table just to say hello! He's my man!" Liya yelled.

"Liya how many times do I have to tell you, we broke up a couple of years ago, we have moved on from one another you are just making matters worse!" Zarbon said to her blushing badly.

"You two have officially ruined my birthday!" Constantine yelled.

"Oh shut up!" Everyone yelled at Constantine.

Appule could not control himself, he laughed so hard that the earpiece in Frieza's ear fell out and hit the ground.

Liya picked the earpiece up and investigated it, "What is this?" she asked with a dirty look on her face.

"Uh its my hearing aid, you do know that I'm partially deaf right?" Frieza asked.

Even though it did not look like Frieza had ears, he did and they were on the side under where his horns were located.

"Frieza I never want to see you again or even talk to you!" Liya yelled, she threw his earpiece into his face and left the restaurant angry.

Later that evening, Frieza walked back and forth with Appule and Zarbon sitting down in front of him worried that he would massacre them for doing such a crappy job of getting Liya to like him.

"I knew this was a bad idea, I knew it all along!" Frieza yelled.

"Maybe if you weren't such a Napoleon completed idiot then maybe it would have gone better! You didn't even try to break Icey or Liya up! You just let them fight, if it hadn't been for me or Appule then they would have ripped each other to shreds!" Zarbon said.

Frieza then sneered at Zarbon, "Did you just defy me general Zarbon?"

"No I didn't, I just am saying that if you wanted to get Liya to like you then you should have tried harder, like stand up for her, or take her side, or just not take sides at all and leave the conflict!" Zarbon said.

"Look Zarbon, this is the real world, this isn't fairy land where people live happily ever after and turn the bad guy into a romantic hero! In the real world, people get hurt, and if Liya needs to feel hurt to love me, then that's all its going to take!" Frieza said smiling.

"Oh my God, you don't care about Liya at all, you just want to hurt her even more than you used to!" Zarbon said.

"What do you mean used to hurt her?" Appule asked.

"Oh Frieza didn't tell you, I wasn't the only person he fucked when I was little, he did the same thing to Liya and does the same thing to Prince Vegeta!" Zarbon said.

"Yep I'm not surprised that that happened," Appule said looking down and shaking his head.

"Enough! I will now do something so vile that nobody will be able to stop me! I'm going to screw over Liya and instead go after Icey!" Frieza yelled.

"You mean?" Appule asked.

"Yes Appule that's right, I'm going to marry Icey and murder Constantine for insulting me in front of Liya and ruining my chances with her!" Frieza yelled laughing like a maniac.

"Yep its time to go now," Zarbon said taking Appule by the hand.

"Just one moment, and just to make sure that none of you tell anyone about this…" Frieza said about to finish what he was saying.

Hours later Appule and Zarbon were bandaging their wiped backs up for speaking out against Frieza and being threatened into keeping quiet about Frieza's evil and nonsense of a plan.

"I don't understand, he never had a chance with Liya, I mean if he destroyed her species and had her mother murdered by Shasha and he raped her as a child, then why would Liya love him anymore than Shasha or Dodoria?" Zarbon asked.

"Frieza is Frieza, he thinks he can fuck with anyone who disobeys him." Appule said bandaging Zarbon's back up.

"That tyrant, I never liked him, he excepts me to like him after he treated me like not just a sex slave but a sheltered spoiled brat! He has got to the in the high running for worse adoptive parent of the century!" Zarbon said.

"We have to warn Constantine and Icey about what Frieza's plan is," Appule said.

"Yes but how are we going to do that?" Zarbon asked.

"I have an idea," Appule whispered in Zarbon's ear and Zarbon smirked as he listened to what Appule had to tell him.

End of Part 1


	2. Chapter 2

_**The Sacrifices We Must Make Part 2**_

Frieza decided to invite Constantine over for dinner and Icey to come along with him. Zarbon was not invited of course since Frieza blabbed to him that he was planning on killing Constantine and making his cousin his wife.

This plan of course was ludicrous and sounded like Frieza just came up with the idea in a second more so than a year or more. Frieza had the table set and he invited Icey and Constantine in to sit down.

In all honesty it killed Frieza that he could not have Icey for a wife, if she was not his cousin he would have probably of been married to her by now. King Cold forbade Frieza to marry any of his blood relative, which was understandable. Besides the main reason for wanting to marry Icey other than having a huge crush on her, Frieza thought of her being an easy target.

She would always fight with her mother who was King Cold's younger sister and who owned a charm academy. She also got into trouble with Zarbon and Liya too, she was trackless and because of her Tourette syndrome, she could easily rub people the wrong way.

Frieza was not even submissive anyways and to make matters worse, Cooler was expected to act more grown up than Frieza since Frieza was the younger of the two half brothers. Frieza had always been a spoiled brat and was favored so much by his father and it made Cooler feel jealous and angry at him, which is probably why he would always stick up for Icey whenever Frieza would laugh at her Tourette or her clumsiness.

"Oh this looks so lovely, I'm so happy that you invited us over." Icey said.

"Yes why did you all the sudden invite us over, you never invite us over to talk let alone hang out with." Constantine said.

Yes it was Constantine's right to be suspicious of Frieza's friendly invitation; for one thing Frieza was not friendly at all. Usually when he was that meant that he wanted something out of it, he had done this when he was a child and Cooler even knew what that meant.

Frieza smiled and said, "Oh dear, sweet Constantine I wanted to make up to you about last night of course, you know how I was on a date with Liya and I bumped into you two unexpectedly?" Frieza said.

"Yes we think nothing of it!" Constantine said sitting down and putting his napkin in his lap.

"I think something of it; Liya is the rudest person I have ever met!" Icey said sitting down as well.

"Yes I remember in ballet, when you two used to compete with one another for the mini prima ballerina!" Frieza said laughing.

"It was the worst nightmare anyone can go through, I'm glad I don't do ballet anymore." Icey said taking a piece of bread and spreading butter on it with her knife.

Meanwhile Zarbon and Appule were outside of the dining room trying to figure out a way to sneak into the kitchen and get the apple pie that Frieza planned to poison Constantine when he ate it.

"How are we going to pull this off, it's almost impossible to think about!" Appule said.

"I have an idea, how about you go into the kitchen and tell the cook that he is needed into the dining room while I'll sneak into the kitchen and get rid of the pie!" Zarbon said.

"Ok that's fine," Appule said.

Appule went into the kitchen and tapped the cook on the shoulder, "Yes can I help you?" she asked turning around.

Where did the man cook go? Was he sick, on vacation, was he executed? Appule had no time to speculate, it was only a matter of time before Constantine would be eating the pie that Frieza had poisoned for him.

"I believe that Frieza wants to see you in the dining room." Appule said taking her by the hand and leading her down the hall to the dining room.

Zarbon then snuck in and could not see the pie on the table, perhaps it was in the refrigerator? He went up to the refrigerator, opened it and saw the pie, it looked delicious, but deadly as well. Yep there was defiantly some kind of toxin in there, Zarbon was about to take it out of the refrigerator, but sensed someone coming into the kitchen! He panicked he would get whipped by Frieza if Frieza ever caught him sneaking food.

The cook went up to Frieza in the dining room, Frieza looked surprised to see her, "What are you doing here? Is something wrong with the desert?" Frieza asked.

"That's strange I thought that you called me here because you wanted to ask me something!" The cook said confused.

"Nonsense, who told you that?" Frieza asked.

"I don't know his name since I'm new here, but…" before she could finish, Frieza interrupted her.

"Get out of here and make sure that desert is ok!" Frieza said.

She then ran out of the dining room scared, while Constantine and Icey looked at Frieza like he was mad. There was some reason why Frieza wanted that desert to be ok, but they would have no idea why.

"How interesting, I wonder what you were going to tell her?" Icey said.

"Let's not let this spoil the evening!" Frieza said fake smiling.

Zarbon meanwhile decided to hide behind one of the many stoves in the kitchen, the person came into the kitchen and went to the refrigerator, Zarbon could not see who it was nor really tried to look, he only thought to stay quiet.

"You look yummy my precious pie!" The voice said.

It was Vegeta! That stupid Sayain Prince, such a snob on a way bigger scale than Zarbon could ever be, since he was raised by the Sayains to think of his own race as superior to that of other species of the universe. He also had a major appetite for food and Frieza had a curfew for him sneaking food as well. Vegeta then took the apple pie out of the refrigerator, went to the table and put it down. He grabbed a fork and knife out of the cabinets and was about to eat the pie.

Zarbon usually hated the Sayain, but he did not want him to die so soon nor see him throwing up blood, so he had to stop him! Zarbon got up fast and then hit his head on the lights, "Ouch that hurts!" he yelled putting his hand on his head.

Vegeta turned around and saw Zarbon in the kitchen, what was the pretty boy doing in the kitchen? Was he perhaps sneaking food too, or maybe he was going to tattle on him. Either way he knew too much! "Zippy what are you doing in the kitchen?" Vegeta asked.

"I would not eat that pie if I were you!" Zarbon said.

"Why not, so that you can get fatter like you used to be when you were a kid?" Vegeta asked laughing.

"That's not nice at all!" Zarbon said.

"That's right, Frieza told me all about your weight problem when you were younger and even told me some of the nicknames people used to call you! So if I were you, I would get out of here before I start telling Nappa and Raddiz what those names used to be! I'll have them spread as many rumors among the sex slaves about you as they can!" Vegeta said.

All the sudden the cook ran into the kitchen and saw Zarbon and Vegeta arguing, "Vegeta!" she yelled.

"Amenli!" Vegeta yelled back.

"That is not the pie that I promised you!" she said.

Zarbon turned to Vegeta, "You bribed her into giving you food?" Zarbon asked.

"I couldn't resist him, he's just so charming and handsome, in a Sayain warrior kind of way!" the cook said gulping.

"Even if it isn't the pie you promised me I'm going to do the dishonest thing and eat it!" Vegeta said about to put the pie into his mouth. He was too hungry to really care what anyone else thought.

"NOOOO!" Zarbon and the cook yelled together.

It was too late, Vegeta had to go to the hospital to get his stomach pumped before Frieza found out about him eating the poison pie. Vegeta needless to say was not happy that the pie was poisoned and immediately accused Zarbon and the cook of plotting to kill him since apple pie was his favorite desert.

Vegeta lied in bed throwing up into a spit up bucket that the nurse gave to him, "I can't believe that you tried to poison me!" Vegeta yelled at Zarbon and the cook.

"No I was going to make a pie for you, but I had to take care of Frieza first!" the cook said.

"Oh so it was Frieza that you were trying to poison!" Vegeta yelled spitting up into the bucket.

"No never, he requested me to make the pie!" the cook said.

"Amenli, who was the pie originally for?" Vegeta asked as he started spitting up blood.

"I don't know Frieza just told me to make the pie! He never said who it was for or who would be eating it! He just told me to put a whole bottle of rat poison into the pie and make it look like there was no rat poison at all!" Amenli said.

"You and Zarbon need to get out of here right now!" Vegeta yelled as his throw up and blood reached the top of the bucket. "Nurse I need a new bucket! Get me a new bucket!" Vegeta yelled.

Zarbon did not bother to stay and went home, he tried to think about what Frieza's next move to kill his friend and rival would be.

As for Frieza's backup plan to poison Constantine, it completely backfired since Constantine and Icey decided to skip desert and go home early. Constantine was safe…for now, Frieza would have to kill him some other time.

Frieza had to think of something else, this time not blab to Zarbon or Appule just to be more cunning! However that did not go over well since Zarbon was able to sniff his next plan out. You see Frieza made it illegal to communicate telepathically, but it was one hard thing to resist not doing, since most of the aliens that hung around Frieza could communicate telepathically anyways. Frieza was born with no telepathic powers at all, he was just born to kill really.

Either way Zarbon was able to read Cooler's mind while he was walking past him, Cooler was against the idea of having one of their best generals that they shared together murdered. Also Icey would be heartbroken, although Frieza's feelings for his cousin were strong even to the point where Cooler was not fooled. He knew that Frieza had horrible strategic talent and horrible calculations.

Zarbon ran to the room where Appule was located, Appule was about to go assist someone in the emergency room, then Zarbon came into his room, "Appule Frieza is going to try to keep on killing Constantine and marry Icey!" Zarbon said.

"I don't really like Constantine that much anyways!" Appule said.

"Appule, Constantine is one of the best generals of Frieza, if Frieza kills him or exiles him, then we're in deep trouble!" Zarbon said.

"But if you don't let Frieza kill Constantine and marry Icey then he'll get even worse over time!" Appule said.

"Still Constantine might be my friend and all that, but he's still my rival and I need the drama in my life so it makes him look more inhuman than me whenever we decide to kill an entire species! He's more ruthless than I am! I don't like to order the elimination of species, but Constantine has no problem doing so!" Zarbon said.

"Yes but saving Constantine almost got us killed the last time!" Appule said as he was going out of the room.

"Fine then I have to save him myself! I need to make sure that there are no assassination attempts!" Zarbon said to himself.

Later on he happened to see Shasha and Dodoria sitting down for a sandwich talking with one another; it had been a hard day of training which they usually did together.

"I hear we have job to do at ball!" Shasha said in his thick Russian accent.

"What might that be?" Dodoria asked.

"We must assassinate Constantine husband of that pretty Icey Cold, you know Frieza's cousin?" Shasha asked.

Uh oh, it was true! Frieza had not given up the opportunity to kill his cousin's husband! Zarbon had to come up with a new plan.

The night of the ball approached sooner than Zarbon could come up with a plan to stop everything. He decided since he had no idea how Frieza would try to destroy Constantine, that he would have to look out for anyone suspicious.

Other than that, he dressed up for the ball as usual, however something was a little bit off, he did not see Constantine or Icey there. He wondered if he was too late or if they were late, or if they canceled or what-not.

He then dialed Appule on his cell phone, "Hello?" Appule answered.

"Appule it's me Zarbon, do you have any idea where Constantine is?" Zarbon asked.

"How should I know, I'm not at the ball." Appule said.

"Give me that phone!" Icey said taking the phone from Appule.

"Icey is that you?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes Zarbon it is me, we decided not to go to the ball, since Constantine isn't feeling well and he has a major problem with some bad gas, and it smells bad!" Icey said.

"Good because I was so worried that Frieza's hit men would kill Constantine!" Zarbon said.

"What Frieza hired hit-men to kill him? Why would he do such a horrible thing?" Icey asked.

"Ok let me come over there, where are you?" Zarbon asked.

"We are at the hospital and Constantine is about to get into the tank to fart out all his gas out, the water said that it should calm his body down enough to release the gas out." Icey said.

Zarbon then hung the phone up and tried to go, "Where do you think you're going?" a voice said.

Zarbon turned around, it was Liya she looked beautiful, more-so than she ever had before, even if it was said in another story that she looked that way, this is the truth this time.

"Hi Liya what's up with you?" Zarbon asked.

"Why are you talking to Appule on the phone and not to me? I came here to find you, and now that you are about to leave my presence I'm quite upset!" Liya said.

"Aw I'm so sorry to hear that," Zarbon then picked the petite Liya up and hugged her tightly.

"Oh Zarbon! Could we ever be together ever again, especially after I dumped you for someone my own species all those years ago?" Liya asked.

"Nope I got to go bye!" Zarbon then put Liya down and ran out of the ball.

He ran to the hospital and met Icey there in the room where Constantine was in the healing tank farting a lot. Yes Zarbon truly did not understand the situation, but at least Constantine was in no immediate danger.

"Zarbon why does Frieza want to kill Constantine? I thought he liked him killing a lot of people!" Icey said.

"It's difficult, but I'm going to have to tell you the truth! I can't lie anymore for Frieza! Frieza wants to marry you and since Constantine is your husband, he thinks the right thing to do would be to kill him first and then marry you later." Zarbon said.

"Ew Frieza wants to marry me, yuck he's my cousin, I can't do that that's just tasteless and gross! Besides Frieza is not tall, he is not remotely cute, and he drinks too much!" Icey said.

"I know that, but we have to get you out of this situation somehow!" Zarbon said.

"The only person I can think of that would be brave enough to convince my cousin not to marry me and kill Constantine would be my older cousin Cooler!" Icey yelled.

"Sounds perfect!" Zarbon yelled.

Zarbon and Icey ran out of the room while they left Appule having to deal with Constantine farting in that healing tank.

Cooler was not at the ball, it was just some kind of welcome ball to the new Ginyu Force anyways. Cooler could not understand why Captain Ginyu was put in charge of that school that was turned into a university and into a school.

Sauza that blue humanoid, who was genetically proven to be Cooler's illegitimate son from a raped slave girl, was at his side. In public however, Sauza was not allowed to call him father. He was not allowed to tell people that he was his son, he also was not allowed to show his Icejin Changeling feet either. He had to keep a low profile, although he suffered from narcolepsy a common disorder among the Cold family.

Sad thing was that Sauza used to be in love with Zarbon since nobody else would be his friend, even though he was supposed to be Zarbon's adoptive cousin since Zarbon was adopted by Frieza. Zarbon on the other hand never had any feelings for Sauza and rejected him, Sauza was crushed. However, Sauza also liked girls, so it's not like his heart was completely broken.

Zarbon and Icey went up to Cooler and Sauza, "Well hello Zarbon, long time no see, I mean really." Sauza said.

"Cooler Frieza wants to marry me and kill Constantine, can you possibly save Constantine somehow?" Icey asked.

"Yes I could, but first things first; I need his records from working with Frieza so that I can make him my general so he doesn't have to work for Frieza anymore." Cooler said.

"Oh damn it! Now I'm going to have to order the elimination of species for him!" Zarbon yelled.

"I don't understand your logic of being kind-hearted Zarbon, but we all have to do things we don't want to do. So I suggest that you get the paperwork and I can have a talk with Frieza and see if I could possibly save his life so he could work for me in destroying and occupying other planets." Cooler said.

"That's fine, but why do you hate killing entire species, I don't understand that at all." Icey said to Zarbon.

"Yes I'm not proud that I'm soft deep down inside, but it's in my nature to be softhearted." Zarbon said.

Then Zarbon had a flashback of him as a little boy and Frieza ripping a beautiful butterfly up in front of him, this butterfly he chased after many times, but Frieza caught it and started to use his hardening tactics on the soft and sensitive little Zarbon.

"Zarbon if you don't do what Frieza says, I will declare a butterfly genocide…on the entire butterfly race! MA HA HA HA!" Frieza said throwing the suffering bug onto the ground. Frieza then stepped on it and Zarbon cried even more.

Frieza caught another butterfly and starting to rip its wings off. Poor little Zarbon stood there crying his tender young heart out.

"Leave those butterflies alone Frieza, they did nothing to you!" Zarbon said as a little kid in the past.

Back to the present, the flashback had made Zarbon angry to when he ranted out, "They did nothing to you Frieza!"

Everyone looked at him like he was nuts, "Oh so it's one of those things, that doesn't make much sense hum?" Icey asked.

"Yes, yes it is, I would rather not talk about it," Zarbon said.

Everything turned out for the best, Constantine got a new job as general for Cooler, got paid twice as much as he did from his last job and was even granted mercy from Cooler! Icey was happy and she got to file a restraining order against Frieza, which Frieza was not allowed to change or else big brother Cooler could get mad at him.

Zarbon got a promotion as Frieza's top general, the job that Constantine had, and he did not have to take the blame for killing another species as long as he lived…well almost never again. He still had to vote with the other lesser generals on whether to murder an entire species or not, and he continued to be outvoted since most of Frieza's other generals were ruthless and wanted those species destroyed, they did not have the tender heart that Zarbon had.

As for Liya, well she was still trying to win Zarbon's heart back, which would either be in her dreams, or take longer to do so.

End of Story


	3. Chapter 3

_The Assassination of Frieza Cold_

Frieza was getting ready for a day of walking and driving around the planet to his side of the planet anyways, since Cooler owned the other half and King Cold was officially retired.

Frieza wanted to promote propaganda so that he could somehow seem more attractive to people of the planet. However, the people in his district and Cooler's district did not like him at all for Frieza was a joke to them, even if they did not speak about it at all out loud.

Frieza got up on a float that was driven by who else….but Cui! Cui usually loved to do propaganda photos and finances for Frieza, despite the fact that he was stupid enough concerning conspiracy theories and getting Zarbon and Appule into trouble, he loved to do anything that had attention on him. That's why whenever Frieza would call audition for propaganda pictures to put all over the planet, Cui was the first in line and usually got chosen over even the Ginyu Force!

Usually it would be Icey Frieza's cousin who would be driving the float, and sometimes her husband Constantine would stand with Frieza with his many metals and wave to people. However, after Frieza tried to poison Constantine and marry Icey, Cooler granted Icey a restraining order against Frieza…which should have lasted the rest of his life, but it would only go on for a few years before she would have to renew it.

Cui was enjoying the sun and keeping a somewhat low profile since he did not want any "stockers" that would adore him on those posters. In real life though, Cui was just as big of a joke as Frieza was, while Frieza was the one with the iron fist, Cui was no more than an accomplice…that made more trouble for himself and anyone that looked at those dumb posters and could even read them, that is if they were not illiterate!

The parade in the city was a success, nobody booed at Frieza, since they were too afraid to get their heads cut off for doing so. Another option would have been the gallows, spending an eternity in the harem if you were a girl or an attractive enough male for Frieza's taste, since as many times as I have written Frieza was bisexual.

Frieza sniffed the air like there was nothing to lose, "Oh Cui everyone loves me, and they love me much better than last year, this restraining order might not have been a bad thing, but a blessing in disguise!" Frieza said.

Cui rolled his eyes, "Yes it is lord Frieza," he said driving.

All the sudden, a shot went off and hit Frieza in the chest, just barely to his heart! Frieza was rushed to the hospital and admitted for a week or two. Of course nobody was allowed to disclose the place where Frieza was at the time, because of the fear that someone was still out to get him!

Cui was somewhat in shock, after all besides being used to being laser-gunned at during battle or when he was in the palace, Cui had never been shot at, outside of any of those activities.

Zarbon and Appule went to see Cui, since they were his only friends and the only people that had the advantage to tolerate him at all. Cui could be on the annoying side and while Zarbon was able to tolerate that, Appule had to work extra hard to keep his gentle nature as it was….gentle, so that he would not chock Cui while listening to his stupid conspiracy theories or his lame jokes about Appule.

Cui hid under the bed when Zarbon and Appule came into the room, they were not even in uniform at all. They were dressed up as commanders….people that wore the same kind of clothing that everyone else wore while going outside of the palace so that people did not recognize them. Zarbon even had to take his forehead crown off, even though he liked to wear it so that people understood his status, although this did not go to his head when it was not necessary.

"It's ok it's just us, we're here to see you," Appule said putting some tulips on the dresser.

Cui loved tulips and helped Frieza grew them, when they used to be the best of friends. However, Cui no longer respected Frieza, since the day he found out that Frieza first raped Zarbon when he was just a little boy.

After all, Serena Zarbon's mom left Cui to take care of Zarbon, but she died way to soon and eventually Frieza ended up adopting Zarbon as his heir to the throne and made Cui babysit him, way before Appule also babysat Zarbon.

Back toe the present, Cui was still in shock and did not come out from under the bed, "Cui what are you doing under the bed?" Zarbon asked.

"Is it safe to come out?" Cui asked.

"I think so, nobody has any laser guns or anything." Appule said.

Cui shrieked and still did not come out from under the bed, so Zarbon lifted the bed up, picked Cui up and sat him down in a chair by the window.

"Let's get some nice fresh air," Appule said about the open the curtains.

"No way, they could end up killing me!" Cui said.

"I think it was Frieza they wanted to kill, not you," Appule said.

"Even so, I'm guilty by association, I after all handle all the finances for his weapons, solders and even for the torture items that we use on prisoners in case Frieza is extra…."

"Cui relax, now you have to remember that nobody outside of the palace knows that, nobody even pays attention to you," Zarbon said.

"I have been on those propaganda posters many times, how could they not know it was me?" Cui said.

"Trust me Cui, I have been around this planet and I even grew up here, and I believe that there is a small catfish humanoid hybrid community or whatever your species are called, that live here, they are not hard to miss." Appule said.

"Yes unless Frieza already destroyed them," Cui said laughing like a crazy person.

"But Frieza didn't…" Before Zarbon could finish, Frieza who was hiding in the corner came out with his arm in a sling.

Frieza was only shot in the arm with a laser gun, thank God…for him anyways since nobody else really liked him that much, except for Shasha, Dodoria, the Harem girls, and pretty much anyone else that was messed up in the head.

"Frieza you're alive!" Zarbon said.

"Oh damn it!" Appule said.

"What?" Frieza asked.

"I just broke a nail!" Appule said, even though he was clearly wearing gloves.

"Someone tried to kill me, which one of you did it?" Frieza said really angry looking.

"I didn't do it, you pay me huge amounts of cash to put in my bank account," Appule said.

"I have social status as a prince and an heir to the throne of the Cold Empire too!" Zarbon said.

"Yes Zarbon, but you are also my slave remember your true place. I also have raped you so many times as a child, it's only natural that you would want to murder me!" Frieza said.

"Yes you were really cruel to me, and you still are, but the same could be said of pretty much anyone else." Zarbon said.

"What? What do you mean?" Frieza asked.

"Nobody really likes you, I have told you this so many times in my adolescence when my manic-depressiveness had reached its high peaks." Zarbon said.

"I know that nobody likes me, that's not what matters to me though. What matters to me is that people fear me!" Frieza said raising an arm, to the point where Cui ran back under the bed, Zarbon and Appule covered their eyes. Needless to say… they all lived!

Two weeks later Frieza was allowed to leave the hospital, but there was only one problem with that, he did not want to leave, he wanted to stay and yell at the pretty and ugly nurses that took care of him. Frieza jumped up from the bed he was sleeping in and onto the ceiling when his brother Cooler came to take him home…on King Cold's orders.

"I don't want to go home! I'm the emperor of the planet, I have no reason to go home!" Frieza said crying since he was prone to crying like a baby when he did not get what he wanted.

"Oh stop being so silly!" Cooler said flying up to the ceiling, grabbing Frieza and holding onto him tightly.

It took about an hour for Cooler to get Frieza to go home, since Frieza kept resisting, disappearing and reappearing behind Cooler and unsuccessfully trying to knock Cooler out cold, and not to mention that the two had a little bit of a fire spat, but that is beside the point.

Frieza could not sleep the night he returned and thought of an idea, he could ask to sleep in someone else's room with someone he could trust or slightly trust with his life. He didn't think twice about asking his brother or his father because he did not want to look weak in their eyes.

He could not just sleep in Zarbon's room, Zarbon would not let him near him again, not after he spent his youth being raped by Frieza himself. Despite all this that had happened, Frieza backed off of Zarbon and went straight back to having sex with sex slaves, but that did not mean that he did not still find him pleasant to look at. Either way, he could not just go to Zarbon's apartment, Zarbon had a pet cat and Frieza was not an animal person at all, to the point where he hated animals.

Frieza decided to go sleep in Dodoria's room, the first person after Zarbon, that he trusted with his life. Dodoria was not there anyways, he was at the bar in the palace drinking with Shasha. Frieza snuggled in Dodoria's bed, and smelled something awful, he looked in the bed, and there was an unfinished aged sandwich in it!

"Ewww gross!" Frieza said picking it up and throwing it to the other side of the room.

All the sudden, the door opened up, it was Dodoria he went into the room drunk as a skunk. He turned the lights on and saw Frieza in his bed, Frieza smiled, until he looked around the room. Dodoria lived like a pig, he didn't just look like one, act like one, and talked like one, he lived like one too!

"Master Frieza is that you?" Dodoria asked.

"Yes Dodoria it is me," Frieza said.

"What are you doing in my bed? Are we having a sleepover?" Dodoria asked.

"Not anymore we're not!" Frieza rushed right out of the room.

"That's too bad, I would have been happy to have Frieza sleep in my room with me, it would have been a real hon…" Dodoria fell down snoring and as that happened, Frieza continued to look for a room to sleep in.

Frieza decided that sleeping in Shasha's room would be a better idea, surely his room would be more clean. Frieza knocked on Shasha's apartment door and a girl answered the door. It was Miretta, Zarbon's younger half-sister, mistress of Vegeta and of course Shasha's wife and mother of his three children.

She was a pretty little thing, with thick black hair, those nice thin lips, those yellow eyes and of course, that brown skin that she inherited from her mom. Is it no wonder why Shasha chose to live with her and marry her, even though it was illegal for pretty much non-Icejin Changelings to get married while they resided on Planet Frieza, point being Frieza had no idea that Shasha and Miretta were married and would not find out until the next decade or so.

"Frieza what are you doing here?" Miretta asked.

"I want to sleep in Shasha's apartment, would that be ok?" Frieza asked.

"I suppose so, the couch is ready for me to make a bed for you." Miretta said yawning.

Miretta made a couch for Frieza and he lied down on it, at last he had found a place to sleep, now he could get away from those evil assassins that wanted to kill him.

Then, he heard a baby crying, "What the hell is that?" Frieza asked.

"Sorry I have to nurse him back to sleep!" Miretta said running into the room where the baby was in the crib.

"What the hell is going on here? Why are you not asleep bitch!" Shasha asked coming into the living room with a vodka bottle and drinking it straight.

"Oh lord, do I have to listen to this all night?" Frieza yelled throwing a pillow at Shasha and leaving the room.

"Frieza what are you doing in our apartment?" Shasha asked.

Although by that time, Frieza had already moved onto the next person that he trusted less than Zarbon or Dodoria. These people he did not trust at all, in fact the only way he could guarantee safety was by threatening them for a good amount of time. Frieza was in the slave quarters where the low level solders lived, the ones that could not read, were not strong enough and the ones that had no chance of being recruited.

Frieza decided to stay with Raddiz, Nappa and of course their head hancho..Vegeta! Frieza got the sleeping bag from Nappa's closet and put it onto the floor.

"Don't you think it's a little weird that Frieza is staying with us?" Nappa whispered loudly to Vegeta.

"Who care's its an honor," Vegeta said lying and going to sleep in his bed.

As everyone started to go to sleep, there was a huge snort, Frieza jumped. It was Nappa, he had a bad habit of snoring and whacking his Sayain monkey tail in his sleep. Frieza did not want to wake them up, because he was afraid they would kill him, so he snuck out of their room and closed the door quietly. It then became clear to him that asking the Sayains to sleep over was a very unusual habit for him and very suspicious that might make them question his intentions.

Luckily though, he thought of Sayains as being a savage race of monkeys and had them eliminated from the universe…or so what he thought he had eliminated. In fact it was his idea in the long run and while Zarbon disagreed with him at first, after a council vote from Frieza's other generals, it was decided by the other generals that the Sayains would be destroyed. Zarbon's only goal was to tell Frieza about the decision they made and why they made it.

In those days, Sayains were really a threat to Frieza and his power, Frieza made a huge mistake making them his slaves after killing their leader. Zarbon knew how unstable the Sayains were, he knew from stories that were told to him as a child by Appule. Zarbon was not crazy about the way the Sayains treated the non-Sayain solders, nor did he really like their rude, ruthless demeanor. Even if there were any nice Sayains around, it was somewhat rare.

Anyways, to make a long story short, it was a bad idea to ask them to sleep with them for the night, they could have very likely of killed Frieza and Frieza did not think it was a good idea to go to the next dimension, especially since he heard rumors about King Kai being a fat, flabby bug-like mammal that told nasty and stupid jokes and had no sense of humor, or ruthlessness in him

Frieza decided that the slave quarters were more dangerous to hang out in, so he went to the higher up slave quarters where Zarbon and his friends lived. Frieza knocked on Cui's door and then saw a note on it, he grabbed the note and looked at it, reading it to himself.

"Dear anyone who knocks on this door, I am out of town and don't tell Frieza that I am hiding somewhere where the assassins can't get to me. Love Cui kisses and hugs." Frieza said.

"Cui you really are an idiot aren't you?" Frieza said throwing the note to the ground and going for the slave quarters.

He then knocked on Liya's door, Liya Zarbon's childhood friend that was a purple, ant-eater like alien, ex-Carpathian princess and Zarbon's ex-girlfriend. Liya opened the door up and saw Frieza looking up at her.

"Frieza what are you doing here? Am I going to be arrested?" Liya asked.

It was not unusual for anyone to have their door knocked on at night and be arrested, usually when someone knocked on the door no matter where in the palace it was, it would be an indication that it was either your friends who wanted to violate curfew and talk to you. If not that, then it was Frieza's KGB-like men, coming to arrest you and take you to prison, where you would await trial and then execution.

Frieza smiled, "No dear I need a place to sleep tonight, would you like me to sleep over with you?" Frieza asked.

Liya got nervous, she was raped by Frieza when she was a little girl as well, just like Zarbon was raped by Frieza when he was a little boy, which is what slightly bonded them as friends in adulthood. Liya smiled and started sweating like a pig, "Oh its ok Frieza, except my apartment is being fumigated!" Liya lied.

Frieza rolled his eyes, "You know Liya I'm pretty aware that I rub you the wrong way," Frieza said.

"I'm sorry I have no idea what you…" Liya was interrupted by Frieza.

"Fine I'll go sleep somewhere else bitch!" Frieza said smashing his tail into Liya's sliding door, which broke half of the door off before it had a chance to close all the way.

He knocked on Appule's door, and Appule answered it with fear, "Ok fine, just take me away!" Appule said offering his hands for Frieza to cuff.

"What's the problem? I just need a place to sleep is all!" Frieza said.

"Oh sure you can sleep here." Appule said hesitating, but agreeing finally to let Frieza stay with him for the night.

Frieza was once again on a couch since Appule only had one room with a bed in it, the other rooms were the living room with a TV, a kitchen, a bathroom and of course a computer room. He had two couches and Frieza decided the couch in front of the TV would suit him well.

Then the phone rang and Appule answered it, talked on the phone for a while and then got his nurse outfit on and walked to the door, "Wait Appule where are you going this hour at night?" Frieza asked.

"I'm a nurse, I just got called into the rehabilitation Frieza, don't worry I have a curfew pass!" Appule said holding out his pass for Frieza to look at.

Only certain members of Frieza's men could get this pass, not even Zarbon had a hall pass for this late at night. Appule only had a curfew hall-pass because he was a nurse and was needed from time to time in the small hospital inside the palace to work and heal the solders that came back from missions. Other than that, Appule was not allowed to violate curfew.

Appule walked out the door, "Wait Appule don't leave me!" Frieza yelled.

"I have to go to work Frieza, you want your solders to be better don't you?" Appule asked.

"Yes, but I'm terrified! Just stay here with me!" Frieza said.

"I can't I have to go, your orders were specifically that I could not be late or else I am on the chopping block remember?" Appule asked.

"Oh carry on then!" Frieza said waving his hand a Appule.

Appule rolled his eyes and went to work, Frieza was now alone in the dark. Did Appule perhaps house assassins, or perhaps knew anyone that wanted to murder Frieza? In truth, there was no reason why Appule would waste his time trying to murder Frieza, although Frieza would have not known that!

Frieza then decided to turn to his last resort…Zarbon!

Finally after trying to first avoid him, he knocked on his door, and Zarbon answered it.

"Frieza what's the matter?" Zarbon asked.

"I need a place to stay," Frieza said giving Zarbon the sad puppy face.

"Don't you have your own room?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes, but the harem slaves are attending to other solders, and I am having my room fumigated." Frieza said.

"Fumigated?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes there are termites in my room!" Frieza said stepping aside and going to Zarbon's bed.

"I would love to sleep in your bed if you like," Frieza said.

"Uh I don't know if…" Zarbon was interrupted yet again.

"Will you relax, you are too old for me to rape and too strong to let me rape you!" Frieza bellowed out.

Sadly it was true, though despite the fact that Frieza raped Zarbon when he was a little boy, Zarbon had had it with him and stood up to Frieza and threw him across the room after Frieza attempted to have sex with him again. From then on, Frieza dared not try to have sex with Zarbon nor did he attempt to, he just went and took his business elsewhere, rumors have it on Vegeta or on some other poor soul.

Though Frieza was clearly unafraid of Zarbon since he was way more powerful than him, he was afraid that Zarbon would run away and rat on him and join a rebel group…which was clearly made up in Frieza's mind…for now anyways!

Frieza then took his teddy bear that he brought with him all the time while he was looking for a place to sleep, and slipped under the covers. Zarbon did not know what to do, he defiantly stood his ground the last time Frieza attempted to have sex with him, which he was luckily to have survived because he would have either of been whipped or beheaded even for standing up to Frieza like that.

Frieza then looked at Zarbon and smiled, "Oh my God you're not still afraid that I'm going to rape you are you?" Frieza asked almost laughing.

Zarbon then said, "Well do you want to rape me sir?"

"Come on into bed with me, I promise I won't touch you!" Frieza said.

"No that's ok, you can sleep in my bed all by yourself, I'll just sleep on my couch." Zarbon said.

He then shut the door to a crack but then slightly opened it back up and asked Frieza, "Do you need anything like water or milk?" Zarbon asked.

"Do you have any wine coolers?" Frieza asked.

"No sir I don't drink that much," Zarbon said.

"Fine then I'll just go to bed, good night old friend!" Frieza said, even though Zarbon was clearly in his mid to late twenties, though he looked like he was right out of high school or something that odd, except he was too muscular to be considered…oh never mind!

Zarbon went to the couch to sleep on it, he got his pillow, blanket and a stuffed alien toy that Appule bought for him on his 7th birthday. He had had that blanket since childhood, because his mother made it for him before she dropped him off on Planet Frieza. He was only three at the time, and she never came back for him, because of her premature death.

Anyways as Zarbon was about to sleep it off, Blacky his cat jumped onto his chest and looked him in the eyes.

"Hello Blacky what's going on?" Zarbon asked.

The cat was no ordinary cat of course, he was a familiar spirit that was born into the body of a physical kitten that Appule happened to find and give Zarbon for his eighteenth birthday. The spirit was sent to the body of the kitten in the womb of the mother by Zarbon's mother for protection, the cat's spirit was originally Zarbon's mom's familiar spirit, which the previous life before was born into a body of a bird.

Anyways to make a long story short, Zarbon could talk to this cat, and the cat could talk back, but since he was born into the body of an actual cat and not a cat that was really a demon in disguise or something that odd, he could communicate telepathic with Zarbon, for the reason that Zarbon was in fact telepathic since childhood and the fact that Zarbon did some sorcery on the side.

Blacky would give him assistance, so he would be protected and be safe from anything that he had to conjure up for Frieza to fight. When Zarbon found out that he had great ability to use sorcery for the purpose of conjuring not demons, but aliens up from other planets so that future recruits could fight them and practice on them, Frieza was excited and decided that Zarbon was more important than just a warrior or a general, or the heir to the empire.

Although sorcery was clearly illegal on Planet Frieza, Zarbon had special mercy granted to him, for Frieza's selfish reasons of course.

Blacky then closed his eyes and telepathically thought to Zarbon in his thick British accent, "Zarbon why is he staying here? Do you realize how much that man has hurt you and caused you pain?"

"Yes Blackly I know that, but what am I supposed to do, just kick him out? He might have me beheaded," Zarbon said telepathically since he certainly did not want Frieza to overhear him talking to his cat, he would look almost nuts to him.

"Better than living a slave under him right?" Blacky asked when he started licking his paws.

"I have thought about running away, but the last time that happened it did not work out so well. Frieza had me whipped on the back and it took weeks for my sores to heal up. On time he set me on fire, and it took months for my old skin to replace my damaged skin, I always almost have to wear these stupid leg and arm warmers just to cover those burns up until they heal over completely." Zarbon thought to Blacky.

Blacky looked at Zarbon with pity in his eyes, "He's cruel to me yes, but what more can I do? I'm not an immortal by any chance, I'm very fragile." Zarbon said telepathically.

"Never mind, we'll talk about this some other time," Blacky said as he shut his eyes and went to sleep on Zarbon's chest.

End of Part 1


	4. Chapter 4

_Assassination_ _of Frieza Cold, Completed_

After that grueling night that Zarbon and everyone else had to endure, the dawn broke and the rooster crowed. Zarbon got up and was only half asleep and stepped on Blacky's tail.

Blacky screamed like a typical cat and ran all the way to hind in the kitchen under the bar that connected to it.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry Blacky!" Zarbon said.

The whole night before, Zarbon had thoughts about running away and making a break for it, but feared torture and execution. Blacky tried to talk to him telepathically about it, but it did not good since Zarbon was too much of a chicken and for good reason too. Frieza of course was the type of person that could make you and break you at the same time, regardless of your position in the empire.

Frieza rose up like nothing happened, "Good morning Zarbon, are you going to fix me breakfast?"

Zarbon rolled his eyes, "Uh I have to go work out at the gym today Frieza, to get my exercise done so I don't get fat," Zarbon said.

"Don't be silly you're not fat, you're a hunk of muscle you are!" Frieza said.

"Thanks, but I have to stay fit, as for breakfast I don't know if you like vegetables or not, but I have a cucumber vegetarian salad in the refrigerator that I bought at the cafeteria yesterday, I have not finished it yet, would you…" Before Zarbon could finish a word he was saying, Frieza interrupted.

"Couldn't you just give me some meat instead?"

"No because I'm a vegetarian that likes to eat fish and crocodiles." Zarbon said.

"God you must be the most boring person on the planet!" Frieza said crossing his arms.

"Why do you care so much if I'm boring or not, I'm sorry I don't have much of a life, but I don't like controversy, lechery, debauchery, or talk of murder! I just enjoy the simple things in life, like reading, watching Disney movies, and the best part of all, being young and enjoying life." Zarbon said.

"Either way you are very boring!" Frieza said.

"Fine if you want some drama, why don't you go sleep in Dodoria or Shasha's room, they have more of a life than I have!" Zarbon said marching out of the room.

He went to the cafeteria in his robe God forbid, he was very nervous since Frieza woke up with an extra bitchy attitude. Zarbon opened up a pack of mustard and squirted it onto the crapes that he picked up at the deli, and boy did he eat that gross crape up like there was no tomorrow.

Appule happened to see Zarbon in the cafeteria and while still in his nurse suit, he came by the table and sat down next to him.

"Good morning Zarbon, how are you doing? What are you doing?" Appule asked.

"I just happened to be eating crapes with mustard on it, you would like some?" Zarbon asked.

"No thank you, it seems gross to me. Also I don't recall you ever putting mustard on crapes ever. Is something wrong?" Appule asked.

"Everything is lovely, except Frieza came by to sleep in my room last night!" Zarbon said.

"He did what? But he came to sleep in my room too." Appule said.

"He did what? So he went to your room first and then went to my room?" Zarbon asked.

"That explains why he wasn't in my room when I got back from being on duty to the rehabilitation room." Appule said.

Liya came by with her tray and sat by the two alien friends she had been friends with forever, "What's going on that is causing such a ruckus?" Liya asked taking a huge bite out of her tuna sandwich.

"Interesting story Liya, Frieza came by both my and Zarbon's places to spend the night with us," Appule said.

Liya's eyes grew wide and her tuna dropped out of her sandwich, "Oh dear, he came by my place last night too," Liya said.

"Do you know what he wanted?" Zarbon asked.

"No I didn't he just said that he needed a place to sleep for the night." Liya said.

"Hey that's not fair; he came to my place last night too!" Dodoria said walking up to the misfits with his tray, which had of course deer meat on it with a bit of pancakes on top, which was probably as much of a mismatch to eat as Zarbon's mustard covered crapes.

Liya looked at the deer meat with the pancakes with syrup put on top of all of it, with powdered sugar. "How can you possibly live with yourself?" She asked disgusted!

"I don't know, Frieza didn't want to stay very long at my place, I thought he might have finally saw that I do adore him as a fearless leader!" Dodoria said sighing.

Dodoria obviously thought Liya was talking about how Frieza wanted to stay the night with him. Dodoria admired Frieza to the point that whenever Frieza refused to look at him, yell at him for doing something wrong, or insulted him about his weight and sloppiness, his feelings would get hurt. He wanted to please Frieza, which was why he ran away from his planet, he felt that Frieza was the man for him to impress!

Most of the other people on Dodoria's home planet were such losers, they were dumber than he was, and at least he could read numbers whereas nobody from his home planet could even read! The women on his planet were ugly, the men on his planet were ugly, but he was ruthless enough to be around Frieza that was for sure, he wanted to keep it that way!

While it was an unusual blessing that Frieza even considered staying the night with Dodoria, Dodoria did nothing to better himself physically, nor did he change his sloppy habits of eating. Usually eating stuff together on one plate was Dodoria's style, not our misfit's style.

Shasha then came over, "What Frieza actually came to your place too?" Shasha then threw up on the ground and had a horrible hangover.

"Here have some deer meat," Dodoria said giving Shasha a deer leg, which Shasha then ate whole and spit the bone out.

"Now my stomach feels much better!" Shasha said.

"Take it easy please." Appule said.

Then the Sayains showed up, "What is going on here? I didn't expect all of you losers to hang out together," Vegeta said laughing.

Everyone rolled their eyes at Vegeta while Nappa and Raddiz laughed at what Vegeta said, although it was clearly not that funny.

"For your information loser, Frieza came by our places last night and kept switching rooms on us," Liya said.

"What? No way, he came to our place last night too!" Vegeta said.

"It's true he's not joking this time," Nappa said.

"Nappa, I'm pretty sure they got the message." Vegeta said.

"He came to your place too; I wonder why he did that?" Appule asked.

"Never mind why he came to all of our places, we need to tell someone!" Liya said.

"I don't know if that is such a good idea, it might not go over well with Frieza's brother or father." Dodoria said.

"Well then what is your backup plan then?" Liya asked Dodoria.

When Dodoria in fact had no backup plan, they went to the court room and stood in front of King Cold, the now retired tyrant that ruled many hundreds of years on Planet Frieza and its empire, before handing his empire over to Frieza, and his minions and minority subjects over to Cooler. Either way it was a mess and there were enough thoughts as it was of Cooler and Frieza going to civil war…which would probably never happen as long as King Cold was still alive.

"What's the problem that brings you fine people here?" King Cold asked.

"Well sire," Before Zarbon could finish King Cold interrupted.

"Call me grandfather, you do know that technically Frieza is your adoptive father right Zarbon? So you are like family to us, only you are a slave too." King Cold said winking.

"Right, that's why we're all here. Frieza is acting really strange and he came to all of ours rooms, he then asked us all of us if he could spend the night." Zarbon said.

"Hum this isn't like Frieza; we have to get him here right away!" King Cold said.

"No I have a better idea; I say we have him executed for behaving in a cowardly way." Cooler said.

"No we're not going to execute him, he's family!" King Cold said.

"Think about it father, ever since that day that someone attempted to assassinate him, he has been acting like a baby since he got home." Cooler said.

"Ok I have an idea, if you all could fix him, then we won't have to execute him! However, if you can't fix him and get him back to normal, then we'll have him executed." King Cold said.

Liya was shocked, but this did not shock anyone else, probably because everyone else that Frieza disturbed the night before was a male. "How can you possibly do that to your own son?" Liya asked.

"You dare to question my authority?" King Cold asked pounding his fist on the throne and breaking a piece of marble arm off.

"Noooo sir, you're an inspiration to us all!" Liya said sweating up a storm.

"Yah he inspires me to kill myself when I get the chance," Vegeta said.

Nappa of course was the only one that would laugh at his gallows humor anyways. So everyone thought up ways to make Frieza a little bit more courageous. Zarbon came up with an idea that nobody ever seemed to think about.

Usually when the solders would lose limbs, become burn victims or just needed someone to talk to, Frieza always ended up sending Zarbon to the hospitals for the troops. Frieza was originally to go himself, he sent Zarbon there instead where Zarbon almost hesitated, but ended up giving the suffering troops a good work for Frieza.

When Zarbon found Frieza sitting in the garden talking to a flower, he realized that Frieza was going even more insane than he usually was.

"Hey Frieza I got a great idea of how to uh…bond with the troops." Zarbon said lying.

"Yah what is it?" Frieza asked.

"Well you know how you usually send me to the hospitals to talk to the blinded, burned and amputee troops that come home from battle before they either are sent back into battle, executed or awarded for their bravery?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes so what is your point?" Frieza asked.

"Well they might have a sense of humility towards you, if you go to the hospitals with me to visit them." Zarbon said.

Frieza's eyes grew wide, "What are you talking about?"

"Come on Frieza it will be fun!" Zarbon said even though he would always get depressed that he was forced to send men out there in taking over planets, in which they would either die or get mutilated.

"Ok fine, but I warn you, I am afraid of solder hospitals." Frieza said.

"How come?" Zarbon asked.

"Because they might want to kill me... in cold blood!" Frieza said.

"Nonsense come on I'll go with you!" Zarbon said taking Frieza by the hand and leading him to one of the solder hospitals.

When they got there Zarbon put on a straight and brave face, since he had to stomach the thought of sending those troops out to die, to get burnt, mutilated and of course, blinded by whatever was waiting for them on those planets that were conquered.

Frieza gulped and wondered who was going to kill him or try to kill him, there was no way in hell that all these solders that were somehow still alive were going to take kindly to the person that wanted them to help take over those planets.

All the sudden an amputee who lost two of his legs in a battle wheeled up to Frieza, when Frieza looked at him he gasped, "Oh my god someone give this poor soul some false legs will they?" Frieza asked trying to appear kind, though he was not close to being even compassionate to the point where he would pass…as being compassionate.

"What? I can't afford false legs!" The amputee said as he started to cry.

Zarbon rolled his eyes and said what he was always told to say whenever he visited the troops instead of Frieza, "Don't worry, either way Frieza is so grateful that you are alive and that you served the empire!"

"Alive? He might as well be dead if he's just going to spend the rest of his days as an amputee!" Frieza yelled.

Zarbon then took Frieza by the hand and went to another solder, there was a solder lying in bed and when Frieza approached the bed he looked the solder over, there seemed to be nothing wrong with him, "Might I dare ask what is the matter with this fellow?" Frieza asked.

Then the solder sat up in bed and looked at Frieza, "Oh my God! They're going to get me, run to your units and duck for cover!" The poor soul yelled. He was clearly suffering from PTSD.

"Oh no the battle is still going on! I think that the enemy is right behind you!" Frieza said cracking up as if he was being funny.

"Where?" The guy yelled.

"Frieza is much honored to have had you in his army!" Zarbon said bowing to the solder.

"Oh please, he's clearly not right in the head!" Frieza yelled.

Zarbon once again had to take Frieza by the hand and take him to visit another solder, this time to the burn unit, "Here is where people are afraid to visit the solders the most, the amputees being the least of these two types of injuries." Zarbon said.

"Hum I wonder why?" Frieza asked not paying attention to the sign under the room that said "Burn Unit".

Frieza walked up to a patient who was covered in cloths, "Ew what is that smell, its smells like rotting flesh!" Frieza yelled out covering his mouth.

It was bad enough that Frieza was so cruel, but it was even worse when to his family he would show a sign of weakness and distress.

"Sire we're in the burn unit, of course it's going to smell like rotting flesh!" Zarbon said.

"Let me see now, why is this fellow wrapped up like he's a mummy or something?" Frieza asked.

"Well because…" Before Zarbon could finish, Frieza walked up to the person and started to unwrap his bandages.

"Sire I would not do that if I were you!" Zarbon said.

"Oh don't be so silly, we'll just unwrap you, so that we can see your pretty…" Frieza barely finished his sentence when he was able to get the victim's head fully unwrapped.

Frieza saw that the person was missing his nose, had somewhat of a third degree to a mild forth degree burn on his face, arms and legs. A finger had to be cut off and he did not have anywhere on his body that indicated that he was spared from the fire.

Frieza stepped back and seemed to be frightened, "He's going to get me help!" Frieza ran out of the hospital and out into the lot where he almost got hit by a car.

Zarbon sighed and looked at the burn victim while blushing, "It's his very first time at the solder's hospital!"

When they got back to the palace, Frieza threw a fit in his room while Zarbon just stood there and took it in.

"I can't believe all those people that I sent to take over my many planets! They are still alive?" Frieza asked.

"Yes Frieza, a lot of them are and they didn't just die like you probably wanted them to, some of them have to live without legs, arms, and unlike my species and your species when we get burnt, our skin grows back, although it takes a good month! A lot of those solders who aren't our species won't ever get to have new skin, they have to live the rest of their days as burn victims with people staring at them and running away from them!" Zarbon said furious with Frieza's behavior at the hospital.

"I had no idea," Frieza said.

"Oh come on Frieza, you know damn well that the hospital is filled with wounded soldiers!" Zarbon said.

"I thought you meant wounded as in they had a scrape or a splinter!" Frieza said.

"You have never been to a solder hospital in all your life have you?" Zarbon asked.

"Well yes I have, but that was 200 years ago! Back then if they were that banged up we would just kill them!" Frieza said.

Zarbon shook his head, "Well you pretty much just proved that you are neither suited to go visit wounded soldiers or that you are pretty on the inside." Zarbon said.

"Please Zarbon, being ugly on the inside is nothing new to me, I've been this way since I can remember…I don't have time to talk about it, I must get ready for work." Frieza said.

The next day, Zarbon thought of something new to help Frieza get back on his knees and be considered the fearless critter leader! He took Frieza to an orphanage where there were a lot of Primal Changeling, Icejin Changeling and of course other species that lived there.

The children usually were conceived by unwedded mothers since usually it was illegal for non-Icejin Changelings to get married on Planet Frieza, however there were some exceptions to this rule. Many uneducated Icejin Changeling women got pregnant by men they were prostituting for, and the golden rule was if one could not care for an infant or a child, then they were to drop them off at the orphanage.

Luckily Frieza had a school built for the orphans, so they could learn how to become solders in his army! Anyways to make a long story short, Frieza was taken to the orphanage by Zarbon and they both had masks and gloves on, since the conditions of the orphanages were sometimes horrid.

"I hope that you can clean all this filth up, since we want the orphans to make exceptional solders. We don't want them to act like they come from ghetto unless for some strange reason they are out on the battle field when they turn fifteen!" Zarbon said.

There was another "golden rule", whenever an orphan turned fifteen, they were sent to the solder orphanage academy to train to go out into the army to be sent to other planets to take over for Frieza. If most of them died, Frieza did not care in the world, he just wanted those planets to sell to other aliens along with controlling them for his own selfish reasons.

"This doesn't look so bad!" Frieza said picking up a bag of half full potato chips and threw it into the trash bag that he carried, Zarbon carried one too.

"That's not so much the bad part!" Zarbon said.

"What then? Do I have to pick up their feces or something?" Frieza said.

"Sire they have fifteen toilets throughout the building, that's hardly a problem!" Zarbon said taking Frieza by the hand and leading him to a room that was dark.

"This isn't so bad!" Frieza said.

Zarbon turned on the light and what Frieza saw frightened the living shit out of him! There were about 100 rats in the room surrounded by trash and anything else that I refuse to describe because it was so horrible.

Frieza managed to scream once again and run away from the hospital and once again managed to run out in the middle of traffic and this time managed to get hit by a car! The "poor" and "unfortunate" Frieza was in a coma for some strange reason since the car that hit him hit him in his side so badly that he fell to the cement and it knocked him in the head out cold.

Frieza woke up in the hospital once again and looked to see Zarbon standing in front of him; he raised his head up and put his hand on it, "God what happened? Did I slip and fall somewhere?" Frieza asked.

"You have been in a coma, for about an hour now, the doctors weren't sure if you would recover, but you were hit by a car when you ran out of the orphanage!" Zarbon said.

Frieza's eyes grew wide, "No that's silly I would never run away!" Frieza said.

"Sire I think you are in complete denial," Zarbon said.

"Oh Zarbon you just don't realize how hard it is to be me!" Frieza said getting up, but there was a little bag that had liquid on his arm and he just turned around on the bed to avoid the bag from being yanked off when he would get up. As of why those hospitals weren't as advanced as the hospitals in his palace, that was another story to draw up debate.

"Look you have a perfect life, you have many subjects that …kind of like you…" Zarbon started out saying.

Frieza raised his hand up as if to tell Zarbon to shut up, "Zarbon I know that my subjects hate my guts, they hate my family's guts, and they hate every else's guts. You are the only person in this regime that they can even remotely admire! They hate everyone else in my family, they hate me because I'm a child perpetrator and they hate Cooler because he's a womanizer and they hate my father for being…well my father." Frieza said.

Of course Zarbon did not feel the least bit sorry for Frieza, his life was harder than the stupid dictator turned Emperor of the planet, who had Cooler as a slight co-ruler.

"You are lucky to live in a place where you are considered the merciless ruler! You are so lucky to rule a planet with terror since I would not be able to do that, I cringe enough at what we're capable of doing." Zarbon said.

"Are you telling me that you are a coward?" Frieza asked.

"No I'm not, I just…also Frieza not everyone can look at a burn victim and talk to them. It's not like you're the only one!" Zarbon said.

Frieza then turned around, "Are you saying I'm afraid of burn victims?" Frieza asked turning red with embarrassment.

"No I'm not, I'm just saying that it's normal for some people to cringe at people who are severely burnt and…" Before Zarbon could finish Frieza once against raised his hand to tell Zarbon to shut up.

"Look Zarbon I'm not afraid of burn victims, I just don't like them, they got burnt and they should be able to not cry about it! Besides, why aren't you afraid of them?" Frieza asked.

"Because over the years you sent me over to the hospital to covey to the solders that all their efforts to this empire are not in vain. So over time, I just got used to the fact that they were severely burnt, and you have set my arms and legs on fire so many times, that I had to wear these stupid leg and arm warmers!" Zarbon said.

"But your skin will grow back will it not?" Frieza asked.

"Yes it does, but it takes longer now to grow back to normal because you set me on fire so many times that the next time you set me on fire for misbehaving, that it might never grow back and…" Zarbon was once again interrupted by the cruel Frieza.

"Look Zarbon, just count your blessings ok? If those people's skin can't grow back that is their problem," Frieza said with a smile on his face.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, he really wanted to smack Frieza upside the head, but it would not be worth it, all those brave men who fought for him, as a true solder, Zarbon knew that any committed solder to the empire would die for Frieza, and go to hell and back for him. After all, Zarbon was slightly raised more so by Appule and Cui which probably explained why he respected women more than most of Frieza's other men, and why he was gentle compared Frieza's own family.

However, Frieza stood in front of him telling him that solders in the hospital being able to have no skin grow back from the burn scars, it almost infuriated him. He had been set on fire many times for trying to run away or refusing to follow orders, there was not a moment that he did not feel intense pain. It was only natural for Zarbon to be remotely more empathetic in this case, than say Frieza's other men, who usually got executed if they did not follow orders.

Zarbon could not just stand there and yell at him any longer, he had to go and tell the family that Frieza had a terrible accident and that they needed to visit him.

They came to pick him up and Cooler was laughing, while their "cousin-in-law" Constantine married to their whinny, rich and loud cousin Icey, just looked at him with almost pity.

Since Frieza tried to poison Constantine that one time and tried to marry his cousin Icey, that plan backfired when Vegeta snuck into the kitchen and ate the poison pie that Zarbon was trying to throw away to prevent Constantine from being poisoned. Vegeta had no business in there, and was able to somehow seduce the cook into giving him more food than he was supposed to have. Vegeta needless to say thought that the pie was reserved for him by the cook and ate it, only to go to the hospital later on to get his stomach pumped.

There was another assassination attempt planned for Constantine, but by luck he had some stomach problems that prevented him from being assassinated at the ball he was supposed to attend with Icey. He was taken to the hospital in the palace where Icey had to wait for him to have all the gas pumped out of him in the healing tank. It was just gas, that's all it was, it turns out that Constantine had the tendency to be a drama queen!

To make matters worse, since Zarbon liked his adoptive cousin Icey as a friend and ally, Zarbon and Appule ruined Frieza's chance of killing Constantine by going to Cooler and telling him to put a restraining order on Icey and maybe on Constantine. The order had been lifted from Frieza being in 15 feet of Constantine, but Constantine had yet to renew his restraining order from Frieza being in 15 feet of him and his wife Icey.

"What in the world? Frieza, who did this to you?" Constantine asked.

"I did this to myself; I accidently got bumped into by a car!" Frieza said.

Cooler laughed and fell to the floor laughing, "I would hardly think that something like this is funny," Constantine said.

"No, it's funny because Frieza could have thrown a fireball at the car, but instead he got hit when he wasn't looking where he was going!" Cooler said.

Frieza wanted to attack Cooler but he was too chicken at this time, he closed his eyes mortified and hid under the covers.

"Now is your chance!" Zarbon whispered to Frieza after he pulled him aside.

"A chance to do what?" Frieza asked.

"A chance to prove that you aren't a coward!" Zarbon said.

Frieza then did the unthinkable, he got pissed off, jumped off the bed and started to beat the crap out of Cooler…only to end up with two black eyes, a broken tail and of course, a broken horn.

"You did it Frieza, you did it! You beat the crap out of Cooler!" Cui said.

Cui had returned from a short vacation to visit his "so-called" mail-order bride from the southern hemisphere of Planet Frieza. In truth, he was hiding below the hemisphere due to the fact that he was so shocked by the assassination attempt.

He made up a lie about talking to someone on the computer while he was figuring out Frieza's finances and well, that didn't work out well, because he could not marry someone legally on Planet Frieza, even if he wanted to. Frieza did not fall for it, but he let Cui off the hook since he did not have another person who was good with numbers…not like Cui anyways.

"No I got the crap beat out of me by my older brother all because someone told me to show that I wasn't a coward!" Frieza said sipping up earl gray tea.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "Yes I said prove you aren't a coward to your family, not necessary beat your older brother up." Zarbon said.

"Either way I'm mad at you Zarbon, but thanks to you, I am now no longer considered a coward and I am spared execution!" Frieza said.

"Wait, they were going to have Frieza executed?" Cui asked.

"Yes didn't Frieza tell you that he came to all our rooms to avoid being assonated?" Zarbon asked.

Cui started laughing and while he did that, Frieza's eyes looked as if they were going to laser. In fact, Frieza's eyes lasered in Cui's direction, but thank God Cui was paying attention, because when he sensed that coming, he ran out of the room as the laser just missed him by an inch!

Zarbon covered his eyes like he was afraid…because he really was afraid. "Why are you covering your eyes Zarbon? Why?" Frieza asked.

"Be..Be..Because you were about to kill Cui! All because he laughed at you, and I'm afraid that I will be next!" Zarbon yelled.

"You know how much I hate chickens!" Frieza yelled as he was about to laser Zarbon.

Before he was able to Zarbon pushed him down and ran out of the room, but stood by the door until Frieza settled himself down. Frieza needed Zarbon still, not just because he was the heir to his regime, but also because he had always put him in his place, besides Appule, Zarbon was always Frieza's voice of reason, whether Frieza liked it or not.

"I would have never of told Cooler or King Cold that you are afraid of burn victims!" Zarbon said sulking since he was so scared that Frieza was going to kill him.

"Uhhhh…just get out of my sight!" Frieza yelled.

"I am out of your sight sir! I'll just go sulk in my room!" Zarbon said walking away from the door and down the hall to his room.

No matter how much time passed Frieza by, Zarbon was pretty much his voice of reason…he was also his blessing, his curse, and of course his heir to the empire. Needless to say, Frieza remained a cold hearted tyrant to the end of his days; no matter how much Zarbon seemed to yell at him. He most certainly did not raise Zarbon to be sensitive and soft-hearted that was for sure, that was someone else's doing.

End of Story


	5. Chapter 5

_Zarbon Runs Away_

Zarbon was looking in front of the mirror admiring this reflection then Frieza barged in, "Quit looking at how cute you are and pay attention!" Frieza yelled.

Zarbon stood up straight like a solder and saluted Frieza, "Yes sir what is the matter sir?" he asked.

"It appears that the tumor from my tail has come back, so I don't know if I'll be around much longer." Frieza said walking back and forth.

"So why are you telling me this?" Zarbon asked.

"Because you are the heir to my thrown remember?" Frieza asked glaring at Zarbon.

"But I thought you were my master?" Zarbon asked confused.

"Yes I'm your master as well, but you have it better than most of my men, after all if anyone were to disagree with me like you just did then they would be hanged!" Frieza yelled.

"So how do I fit into all of this?" Zarbon asked.

"Since I have no idea how long I'm going to be around for, I will now tell you straight that you need to pick a wife for yourself and marry her as soon as I die!" Frieza yelled.

"Frieza you've had two other tumors in your tail, why can't you just chop it off if you're so worried about dying?" Zarbon asked.

"Are you kidding I worry about looking more or less beautiful not that I really am that pretty anyways, compared to your adoptive uncle Cooler." Frieza said rolling his eyes.

After all, Cooler was an infamous womanizer while Frieza was the quiet type who usually took ten-year-old boys and girls as sex slaves, he had no interest in settling down, he did not have the time or the patience to deal with whinny women.

It was quiet for a moment Zarbon and Frieza stared into each other's eyes, "I'm going to miss you sir!" Zarbon said pretending to be sad.

"Yah right you hate my guts and you know it! Now do me one last favor put this powered wig on that I hand prepared for you to wear!" Frieza said holding a powered wig up.

Zarbon took one look at it and turned around and crossed his arms, "No!" He said.

"No? You have to look handsome so that they can like you in return!" Frieza said.

"No I just want to be myself sir! Why do I always have to look good? I just want to show my regular hair and besides it's out of style!" Zarbon said.

"What are you talking about? My family does it all the time!" Frieza yelled.

"Yah during what year you were born around the French Revolution and it's currently the year 1976, I should be looking really pretty like usual, I will not put on that dumb wig for anyone!" Zarbon said.

Sad to say, Frieza did not agree, Zarbon had to sit in the tearoom wearing that stupid wig; at least he did not have to put fake stars or dots on his flawless face. He rolled his eyes as the "eligible bachelorettes" came in to talk to him.

Zarbon did what Frieza said, he remained polite and nice as usual, but he was bored, these women were just as pigheaded and boring as he was. No joke this one woman all she talked about was when men tried to impress her by giving her flowers, but if they were not rich enough or handsome/ugly enough then she would turn them away. Zarbon was so depressed that he banged his head on the table at this woman.

Next woman that came in was another primal changeling just like him, she was nice, but she was too conservative for she dressed up more like a lawyer then an actual princess or countess. To make matters worse, she had gap teeth and tried to get Zarbon to transform for her so that she could make the decision on whether the two were to mate with one another or not.

Unlike Frieza's species who usually found mates through compatibility and romance, primal changelings found their mates through instinct and courting rituals such as not only did the man have to impress the woman with his good looks but also had to transform to see how fierce enough he would make as a mate and father, not to mention vice versa.

Zarbon did not understand these rules since he was raised by an Icejin changeling who had a totally different point of view on finding one's mate.

Next girl was even more unimpressive she was beyond beautiful, but when she spoke she seemed like a really demanding kind of woman, not that Zarbon did not think that was a bad thing, but this woman was so impatient and Zarbon apparently was not handsome enough for her, even when he took the powdered wig off she was even more unimpressed since Zarbon had long, thick, dark green hair.

Zarbon had had enough of Frieza telling him who he could and could not love, he did love Liya once, but he was on her bad side since she was the possessive type of creature anyways. Besides she was an anteater-like purple alien with thick lips and killer boobs. Although she was not considered in any kind of way gorgeous to the human eye, she was beautiful to Zarbon since he first laid eyes on her when he was a little kid.

In actuality Zarbon was neither a womanizer nor was he the type who wanted to settle down quite yet. He liked it quiet and he did not need a woman nagging at him like Frieza. Zarbon had had enough of this stupid tidbit, for this was not only the second time this had happened to him but also since Frieza usually got those tumors taken out of his tail, he usually came back and refused to marry Zarbon off to another primal changeling.

Zarbon took the wig off and threw it to the ground, he went to his room and started packing his bag, Appule came into the room, "Zarbon what are you doing? Are you going on vacation?" Appule asked.

"No I need to get away for a while," Zarbon said.

"I thought you were supposed to be finding a wife in case Frieza dies." Appule said.

"No I don't want to get married yet, I'm too busy worrying about the way I look, the way I act and if I'm going to die or not. Last thing I want to worry about is leaving a woman a widow." Zarbon said.

"Here let me help you pack," Appule said giving Zarbon a hand.

After Appule helped Zarbon pack, Zarbon ran off into the unknown on the dangerous planet Frieza…needless to say he did not stray too far.

He went into the mountains where a secret spiritualist temple was located and where he would sneak away to whenever Frieza was on holiday or business. The temple resembled a ziggurat in which people could go in and worship their many to one god that ruled the universe which was just unknown to them. There were caves in which the spiritual monks made their homes in, and a village that provided fresh water and plenty of fish everywhere for the spiritual primal changelings to eat.

Zarbon got to the temple and found it in ruins, the cave homes that the monks lived in also destroyed, the village was in ruins as well. Who could have done such a thing? Then he spotted a little boy putting flowers on an unmarked grave, Zarbon walked up to him, "Excuse young man, but what happened to this temple and the people that lived here?" Zarbon asked.

"Frieza had it destroyed by his executioner Shasha Michliv; he also took the monks away and had them beheaded. He said that spiritualism is a bad influence on the Icejin Changelings." The child said.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but you don't understand I come here to worship the universe and the gods or god that controls it and gives me my psychic, medium and sorcerer powers." Zarbon said.

"As far as I'm concerned there is no god or gods of the universe, Frieza said so himself." The kid then turned around and Zarbon was shocked to find that the child had his eyes missing.

"I don't mean to ask, but what happened to your eyes?" Zarbon asked.

"Dodoria took me to the side of the forest, sat on me and pulled out my eyeballs." The child said.

"Good lord why did he do that?" Zarbon asked.

"Because he said that if there were gods or a god of the universe then they would give me new eyes." The kid said.

Frieza had that temple destroyed about a month ago without Zarbon knowing. On planet Frieza many times under Frieza's regime primal changelings were targeted and sentenced to death, especially if they married one another or dared to worship the gods of the universe.

Zarbon was sad, "Right thanks a lot," Zarbon said running off into the woods.

Zarbon felt like he had nowhere else to go, maybe Frieza did not get to all of the ziggurats, so he looked for another village which would have a ziggurat for primal changelings to worship in, all the other villages in the area had been destroyed to the point where there were ghosts towns.

Zarbon then knew what he had to do, he looked for a remote place in the woods, and built himself a small temple where he could go in and worship the gods of the universe. To confuse any of Frieza's men, he made the temple look like an Egyptian pyramid so that they would not suspect anything. After all pyramids were tombs and not so much places of worship.

Meanwhile while Frieza went off to the doctor's for surgery on his tail, Icey Zarbon's second cousin since was walking on the palace grounds wearing an elegant dress that she loved to dress up in. She was walking with her husband General Constantine, that arrogant general rival of Zarbon's, although they were friends. Of course she was considered Zarbon's second cousin since he was adopted by Frieza.

"Oh it's such a beautiful day isn't it Constantine?" Icey asked.

"Yes and I have such a headache too," Constantine said since he was a very cynical and negative person who although loved Icey with all of his heart, loved to complain about the stuff that turned him on and off.

"Oh do you have to be so negative all the time?" Icey asked walking away from Constantine.

Liya then bumped into Icey, "Icey are you hiding Zarbon anywhere?" Liya asked.

"No I've told you many times, Zarbon and I are second cousins and just because we are doesn't mean we're seeing one another," Icey said.

"Where is he? I looked everywhere for him," Liya said.

Then Alice one of Cooler's Icejin Changeling sex slaves walked up to the two girls with Appule by her side, she and Appule officially were going study. They have been dating since Zarbon was sixteen years old.

"I believe that Zarbon is at the ziggurat to ask the gods or god of the universe what to do with his life," Alice said.

"You mean that large Primal Changeling community that was destroyed months ago?" Liya asked.

"Yes that one," Alice said with her eyes wide since she heard nothing about it.

"We need to go and find him," Constantine said walking up to them.

"Well, well, well if it isn't my negative Nathan!" Icey said spinning her umbrella.

"Whatever we do, we don't tell Cui about it because he might go and blab!" Appule said.

All the sudden Cui walked up to Appule, "Appule have you seen Zarbon, I can't find him anywhere, there are many other suitors that want to talk with him," Cui said.

"He ran to that destroyed primal changeling ziggurat village in the mountains," Appule said.

"We have to find him; Frieza will have a cow if we don't!" Cui said.

Meanwhile in the woods Zarbon was sitting in the grass and dreaming of what tomorrow would bring. Perhaps, better treatment among the Icejin Changelings? Maybe a wife that would not have to worry about whether or not he would return from his duty in battle? Perhaps some memorials built in honor of those who Frieza systematically massacred years ago before Cooler started protecting the Primal Changelings.

Either way Zarbon was happy to be by himself. He rolled around in the grass laughing and humming some unknown song that even Frieza himself could not comprehend. "I could do this all my life; I just want to be happy." Zarbon thought to himself.

"I am so miserable living under that horrible tyrant!" Zarbon thought.

Meanwhile in the mountains Zarbon's friends started looking for him, "Zarbon! Where are you?" Icey yelled aloud.

"Zarbon are you under this rock?" Cui said picking a small rock up while a hairy tarantula crawled out from under it.

"I can't find him anywhere, we just have to face facts... he's dead!" Constantine said.

"Constantine don't be such a moron, we don't know if Zarbon is dead or alive, but we have to find him before Frieza knows that he's gone missing." Icey said.

"Zarbon please come home, everyone misses you and I'll show you my new boob implants if you come out!" Liya yelled to the top of her lungs. Everyone then looked at Liya like she was crazy.

"Boob implants are so gross," Appule said.

"I agree with you, you need to stop operating on Liya." Alice said since Appule was a registered nurse.

"Hello mama!" Constantine said licking his lips.

"Oh shut up and continue to look for Zarbon!" Icey yelled slapping Constantine on the back.

Meanwhile Zarbon lied down looking up at the sky and seeing himself happy in the clouds. Another cloud shape was that of a flower, and then a dragon shaped cloud flew by. Zarbon then picked a flower up and smelled it, then a bee flew up to his face, he tried to whack the bee, but it flew away. Then a bunch of butterflies flew over him, "How pretty!" Zarbon said looking at those butterflies with wonder in his gold eyes.

Zarbon thought to himself that maybe someday if he ever got reincarnated that he would either be a butterfly or a bubble bee so that he can be near pretty flowers forever. A butterfly landed on his nose and he smiled, then it flew away. He then started to cry to himself, he had never been so happy since the day that he graduated from military school and did not have to go back!

Meanwhile Zarbon's friends went to that burnt down village and saw the blind boy getting water from a destroyed looking well, they walked up to him, "Excuse us young man, but we're looking for a tall and handsome man with long green hair, turquoise complexion that also works out a lot." Appule said.

"How should I know what he looked like, I can't see a thing!" The kid said.

The kid turned around and Icey screamed and covered her eyes, Alice covered her eyes, while Liya laughed at Icey's fear. "You won't find him around here; he came by this morning and went to look for other villages with ziggurats." The kid said.

"Yes but which way did he went?" Cui asked impatiently.

"I don't know I can't even see which way he went, although according to my instinct he went that way," The kid pointed to the left were the woods started up.

"Thanks so much. Here buy yourself some food," Appule said giving the boy a coin.

They walked off and headed into the woods to find Zarbon.

Zarbon decided to build more pyramids and even plant some flowers that he bought from the market down the street. He would water them and they would grow to be beautiful! Zarbon quickly got a book manual from the nearby bookstore on how to build his own cabin and plant flowers. He quickly built it in a day or so, while his poor friends still looked high and low for him.

A week pasted by and Cui's cell phone rang. He picked it up, "Hello this is Cui." Cui said.

"Yes Cui where in the world are you and everyone else?" Frieza asked.

"We're in the woods camping and we're going to be back in a couple of days." Cui said.

"No you won't be you have been gone for more than a week! I want you all to come home immediately! Oh and tell Zarbon if he is with you that I decided not to find him a wife after all! In fact, my brother or father if they somehow outlive me will find a mate for him! But that won't happen until I die. Come back!" Frieza hung up.

"That was Frieza; it appears that we have been gone for over a week." Cui said.

"Oh dear, this isn't good," Appule said.

"Don't worry Appule, we'll find him, he couldn't have gone far." Alice said hugging his arm tightly.

"We have been walking around for days on end! I feel like I am going to throw up, I haven't eaten since we went to that village a mile back!" Liya said.

"It was a mile back, you should still not be hungry you know!" Icey said.

"Who are you telling to be hungry or not!" Liya yelled at Icey.

Then Icey and Liya turned to Alice to try to settle their dispute for them, "Who do you think is right, me or Liya?" Icey asked Alice smiling.

"Come on Alice, we're friends remember?" Liya said.

"God you are both my friends, but I refuse to settle this dispute between the two of you!" Alice said crossing her arms.

After all it was not fair that Alice was friends with both Liya and Icey, and that Liya and Icey had the horrible habit of arguing with one another. There was no reason for her to take sides, which would have been the stupid thing to do. So Alice played dumb and just ignored her friends.

"Ladies shut up! I am tired of you two yelling and bickering at one another! I am very tired too, and when I get tired I get cranky and…." Before Constantine could finish up Cui interrupted.

"We need to keep looking for Zarbon! He doesn't have his cell phone on or anything!" Appule said.

"How would you know if he has his cell on or not?" Liya asked.

"Because I called it and he hasn't answered it in days, you don't think he ran away for good do you?" Appule asked.

"Never mind that, let's keep looking!" Cui yelled.

Everyone fell down and decided to rest, they could not go on foot anymore than an hour. It was too bad since they have been walking around for a week now and have not found Zarbon.

Zarbon meanwhile was cooking some fish that the caught in a nearby river, he was reading a book that he got from the store. It was some book on military strategy, other than fictional books about military generals and hopeless romantic knights in shining armor. Zarbon loved to read books about the military concerning non-fiction.

Then he started to daydream once more, imagining that he was a crusader on a white stallion, about to go off to battle with the infidels that ruled under Allah…or so the version the hard-core Christians told anyways. It did not matter though, it was not the Christianity or Islam that he was imagining either; it was more like he was kissing a beautiful girl while he had a diamond crucifix dangling around his neck. He also held a sword in his other hand.

Then he decided to imagine what it would be like to be a Muslim defending his homeland from the evil infidel crusaders that tried to murder everyone in sight! In this daydream version he was on a wild Mustang and had a fancy turban on with a scimitar in his hand, and a hot Middle Eastern dressed girl in his other hand, they were kissing on the lips like that crusader couple in his day-dream.

Either way, the message was pretty clear in both daydreams, he wanted to be a husband of some lucky woman that would understand him. Someone who could admire him from afar, someone who would wait for him to come back from battle, someone who would spend the rest of his days with! He usually was not a hopeless romantic, but he was very sensitive in the heart. He wanted to be that hero for that girl, whoever it might be someday.

Cui got a phone call on his cell and he answered it, "Hello the most beautiful propaganda expert in the world speaking!" Cui said in a very cocky tone.

"Shut up you big lout! Where are you? You should have made it home two days ago!" Frieza said.

"Don't worry Frieza we are just putting up camp and we'll be home in a few…" Cui was interrupted by Frieza.

"I want to know why my best general, make that two best generals, Zarbon and Constantine aren't here!" Frieza yelled.

"Don't worry about it Frieza everything will be…"

"You listen to me idiot! I need them for military campaigns and genocidal campaigns against threatening species of the universe! Where is Icey, I need her since she is my best head of the propaganda department I have had in years!" Frieza demanded into the phone.

"What, what do you mean the best you ever had, I thought I did enough to…" though Cui was starting to get teary eyed, he immediately held his tears back when Frieza interrupted again.

"Where is Liya, she had a mission to go on two or three days ago and she has not come back or gone on that mission! I am also getting complaints from the orphanage and the ballet company that she dances for that she has not called in to say that she would be absent! Alice is also missing, Shasha complained to me yesterday about her not being there to have sex with him in the harem like she was assigned to do!" Frieza once again yelled into the phone.

"Well you might have to take that up with Liya; I mean the girl is just nuts. As for Alice, well Appule couldn't have…" Cui said.

"What about Appule? He is going to be in so much trouble since he has so many solders waiting for him at the hospital space pod grounds, so that they can get their own septic tanks to heal up in!" Frieza yelled.

"You know Appule, he is sometimes late, that idiot!" Cui said.

"Hey who are you talking to Cui?" Appule asked when he heard Cui call him an idiot.

"Be quiet its Frieza and he's pissed!" Cui said.

"Who are you whispering to? Where is Zarbon, did he run away again?" Frieza asked.

"No he's here with us duh." Cui said.

"You're lying to me, I'm going to send my men Shasha and Dodoria out to bring him and you all back to the palace. When you all get back to the palace you will all be in so much trouble!" Frieza said hanging the phone up.

"Oh damn it! We have to find Zarbon and now!" Cui said.

"What's the problem?" Appule asked.

"Frieza is going to send Dodoria and Shasha out to find us all including Zarbon, but we haven't found Zarbon yet!" Cui said.

"Is this a bad thing?" Alice asked.

"Duh, you know damn well what men like Shasha and Dodoria are capable of!" Cui said.

So they went deeper into the mountains and ironically enough, they found Zarbon in a field of flowers. Zarbon was still thinking to himself and daydreaming about Shakespeare's sonnets. He was not a huge Shakespeare person, but titles of plays like "The Twelve Night," "A Midsummer's Dream", "Othello" sounded pretty romantic to him.

While Zarbon daydreamed again and again, the rest of his friends were spying on him and thought they would think up a plan to get him to get home before they were all screwed. All the sudden they saw that Dodoria and Shasha had their scouters on to find Zarbon and them, they were searching the valleys in which laid below the mountain that everyone was on.

"Oh no! It's them!" Cui yelled pointing down to the valley.

"Who? I think I might need my eyes checked." Alice said.

"Its psycho one and two, quickly we have to tell Zarbon that everyone is looking for him again!" Cui said.

"No he looks happy, even if something bad does happen to us all because of his weakness to want to get away from Frieza for a while." Liya said.

"That's nice that you think that, but you are going to get us all killed!" Icey said snapping at Liya.

"Ok, ok, new plan everyone! We're going to pretend that none of this ever happened!" Cui said.

Everyone rolled their eyes, sometimes Cui would be so cunning, and yet he proven this time to be completely stupid. "Uh how is that going to work?" Constantine asked.

"Come on guys let's just go and get Zarbon and…wait, they're leaving? Do you think they spotted us or Zarbon?" Appule asked as he saw that Shasha and Dodoria were flying away from the area that they searched in. Hum maybe a malfunction on the scouters? That was bound to happen every once in a while.

In the meantime they picked up something else on the scouters; it was the house that Zarbon built for himself. Shasha looked at it and almost died laughing, "Look Zarbon made himself little garden! He also made himself little mailbox, it say _Zarbon's house_, yah like anyone pay bills on this planet!" Shasha said.

"I say we give him a home welcoming!" Dodoria said as he and Shasha dashed into cottage and saw that nobody was home. The thing they picked up on the scouter that what was moving was in fact a squirrel that found himself in the house.

"It's just stupid squirrel!" Shasha said.

"Hum… boy do I feel dumb." Dodoria said.

After the squirrel ran away from Shasha and Dodoria, who both unsuccessfully tried to catch it and smash it, both "psycho one and psycho two" as Cui called them, decided to throw fireballs at the house so that Zarbon would not have a place to come back to! They had done it, they had destroyed the house! Moments later, Shasha saw something out of the corner of his red eye.

He turned to see that there was a huge pyramid built in back of the house, "Uh Dodoria I got question for you. Are pyramids considered place of worship for spiritual primal changelings?" Shasha asked.

Even though Shasha was a primal changeling, he was from a different planet and of a totally different temperament with a totally atheist attitude. He had no idea what was what, and while it sounded stupid, Shasha only knew one or two spiritual primal changelings, one being Zarbon the other being his wife who happened to be Zarbon's younger half sister.

Other than that, the primal changeling concubines that he and Dodoria constantly made love to, they were all atheists; Shasha had not been in the Primal Changeling Cyrillican community on Planet Frieza since he was thirteen years old. Atheism was the only thing that he knew, there was nothing else in the universe, there was no god, nor gods to him.

Dodoria looked where Shasha pointed to, "Uhhh I have no idea what in the world this is, I've never seen this before in my life, it must be a tomb of the great emperor or something." Dodoria said.

"How do you figure?" Shasha asked in his thick Cyrillican accent. Technically speaking, a Cyrillican accent was a Russian accent since the Primal Changelings on Planet Cyrillic usually spoke Russian as a first language, while the Primal Changelings on Planet Primal spoke English, Japanese, French and Russian.

"I remember when Frieza read something about those tacky Egyptians building tombs for their dead warriors and that they put the bodies into the tomb and much treasure!" Dodoria said.

"Maybe there is treasure in there!" Shasha yelled.

Meanwhile in the field where Zarbon was daydreaming, he snapped out of the daydreaming and heard some voices from behind him. He crawled up the hill and saw that his friends were all there arguing over whether they should just leave him in peace or actually tell him to come home before they all got into trouble. Running away would have meant execution for them, and of course being whipped and being set on fire for Zarbon.

"I told you we're going to all die if we all show back up at Frieza's palace!" Appule said.

"No, no, no! If we don't run away with Zarbon, we're going to die anyways!" Cui said.

Poor Alice could not stand all this arguing and covered her ears; she wanted nothing to do with this stupid conversation! Then she came up with an idea, that nobody else seemed to come up with, "I have an idea, why don't we just all draw straws and see which idea is the best idea!" Alice yelled faking a smile.

"No it's going to spell bloody murder for us!" Liya yelled.

"What is going on here?" Zarbon asked walking up to them.

"Look who's here everyone, its prince Zarbon here to grace us all with his presence!" Cui said thinking about throwing the phone at Zarbon but then he threw it to the ground and just stepped on it.

"What are all of you doing here? I told you I wanted to be by myself!" Zarbon yelled to them.

"We're all in trouble, all because you were selfish enough to run away and alienate the world from your existence!" Cui said.

"I'm not going back, I hate Frieza I think he's a little tyrant! He's not even my real father; my real father won't even come and get me or my sister since he's such a chick…" Before Zarbon could finish what he was saying, Liya ran up to him and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you Zarbon! I thought you would be dead!" Liya yelled.

Zarbon turned dark purple in the face and started sweating, he even got an erection since Liya had somewhat missed him so much. "Wow I never knew that you still cared for me Liya." Zarbon said embarrassed that she hugged him when he clearly made it clear that they would no longer go out with one another ever again.

"Please can we just go home, I'm scared!" Liya said.

"Ok fine I'll come home, but I will not like it! I have to go to my cottage first and get my things!" Zarbon said.

"Yay we'll be all right after all!" Alice said hugging Appule.

Meanwhile Dodoria and Shasha had broken into the fake tomb looking for "treasure" to steal from Zarbon. However, they were disappointed to find that it was in fact not a tomb full of treasure, but some kind of a place of worship. They looked everywhere for treasure, they would surely have had to come across something that would have been worth much more than these stupid spiritual books.

"Uh this is stupid, I can't find rubies, amber, and diamonds or even pearls anywhere!" Dodoria shouted.

"This bullshit! We need to look under tables that people usually sit on or stand in, or whatever they do!" Shasha yelled.

"Look here I found an ancient icon of one of those stupid Primal Changeling gods!" Dodoria said picking up the icon.

"What? I thought it was illegal to have those things! I have not seen one in years! I forced my wife to throw hers out years ago!" Shasha said grabbing the icon from Dodoria.

"I'll assemble a team to teach Zarbon a valuable lesson on freedom of religion and its restrictions on this planet!" Dodoria said turning on a button on his scouter to assemble the low level solders to assist him and Dodoria in teaching Zarbon that lesson.

As evening dawned, Zarbon and friends went to the cottage, only to find it on fire. "Oh my God! What happened to my house! What happened to it! Where am I going to live?" Zarbon said falling to the ground on his knees weeping.

"I know who did this! This isn't a forest fire nor was it an accident! Shasha and Dodoria did this!" Cui said.

"What would Dodoria or Shasha be doing out in the middle of the woods all by themselves anyway?" Zarbon asked.

"Because Frieza is pissed off at all of us for bailing on work to find you since you ran away!" Appule said.

"Why didn't you say this earlier?" Zarbon asked.

"That's what we were arguing about, we felt guilty that you were so unhappy being under the tyranny of Frieza and we thought that giving you some time to enjoy time by yourself would be worthwhile." Constantine said.

"Yes Zarbon, you looked so happy that we had to argue over whether to risk our lives or not to actually bring you back to the palace, because either way, we're all going to be in big trouble. We're thinking of running away." Icey said.

"Oh not so fast!" All the sudden Zarbon and friends turned around to find that Shasha and Dodoria had some of Frieza's low level solders behind them.

Shasha hit Zarbon in the face with the icon and kicked him in the stomach while Dodoria grabbed Icey by the hair and pinned her to the ground. As it turns out, he did not plan on raping her, but he had thoughts about it. Instead he decided to pull her dress off and reveal her naked body to everyone. Everyone was laughing at Icey as they looked at her boobs and of course her special area used for reproduction purposes. She felt humiliated and fell to the ground in shame as all the low level solders laughed at her, called her horrible names and even threatened to rape her.

"Leave my wife alone!" Constantine yelled to Dodoria trying to run to her assistance.

Dodoria slapped Constantine in the face, "By the way, Frieza says that you are suspended for an entire month of military duty!" Dodoria said.

Constantine stood there and sighed. Meanwhile with Liya, a solder grabbed her and another solder grabbed her and tore her dress off of her back and started whipping her in front of everyone else and everyone started laughing.

Cui and Appule were not spared from the whip either, more solders surrounded Cui and Appule and while they did their best to fight them off, it did not pay off in the end. They were pinned to the ground, had their shirts ripped off their backs and got whipped just like Liya.

Alice did not get spared either, she was seized by some of Frieza's men, she was thrown to the ground, her dress was torn off of her, and to put this delicately as possible, she was violated. Appule would have done anything in his power to save his concubine girlfriend from being violated or certain death, but unfortunately he was still being whipped. Luckily this was not the first time that Alice was forced to have sex against her will, she was used to it since she was a concubine for both Cooler and Frieza.

After seeing what happened to Alice, Icey ran to her husband Constantine and as he held her in his arms, they both stared at Dodoria holding Zarbon down, fearing of what Zarbon's fate might be.

Shasha grabbed a torch that one of the solders provided for him, throwing it onto the temple, in which Zarbon was forced to watch burn to the ground. After it burnt completely to the ground Dodoria sat on Zarbon while Shasha bend down to the ground and punched Zarbon in the face. Zarbon he was to receive the worse punishment of all his friends!

As a method of humiliating Zarbon in front of everyone for trying to run away, Shasha grabbed Zarbon's arms and set them on fire using a small but still horribly painful fireball, this was usually another punishment that he suffered besides being whipped on the back…for trying running away.

Although once again if not before, I will say that Zarbon's species had the ability to get over burn scars, it would take months for him to heal his arms up and his skin to grow back, as if nothing happened. After this incident occurred, it took about two months for Zarbon's burn scars on his arms to heal up. If the physical damaged did not cause Zarbon enough harm, it was defiantly the emotional damage that did the damage.

It took about maybe the time for Zarbon's scars to heal over for Appule, Cui and everyone else to even talk with him. He did not mean for his friends to be brought down with him in all of this mess that he caused Frieza, he did not even tell them to come and look for him. All in all, they pretty much were half the reason why they were punished too. They knew they were risking their work and their lives to find Zarbon, not so much because Frieza asked them to look for him, but because they were the only real friends that Zarbon ever had!

It took them months to realize that they too were wrong in this incident, either way Frieza did mean to cause all of Zarbon and everyone else physical, emotional and mental harm. After all, why else did he send Dodoria and Shasha after all of them? When usually Dodoria or Shasha, or the both of them showed up, you knew right away that someone was going to get killed, hurt or raped. Maybe a combination of all three!

Appule too faced much emotional damage, whenever his girlfriend did not come around to see him secretly; he went to visit Zarbon when Zarbon's arms were healing up. Appule was the first of Zarbon's friends to actually come and forgive him for running away like that! He was hurt very badly since his girlfriend did not trust him enough to want to even talk to him on the phone whenever he called her.

Alice did not even want to show her face outside of the harem because she was afraid to be jumped by a big group of men and slapped around. Appule tried to talk with her, but she refused to see him since he was not only in the position not to help her, but he was also a male and that did not help anything.

Cui was for once glad that he did not open his big mouth about this! If he would have, he would have made Zarbon and his other friends angry. In truth nobody really liked Cui, since he had his stupid conspiracy theories, did deals with other criminals on the planet, and had a very shady attitude in general. Of course he was the second of Zarbon's friends to forgive him, and of course himself for daring to go out on that adventure and miss work just to find the heir to the throne of Frieza's empire!

Icey was even more afraid of her cousin Frieza, this was not the first time that Frieza had caused her so much pain! There was that one time when Frieza set her up with Zarbon to date and even tried to marry them off as a joke! Then there was that other time that Zarbon was having a major mood swing and made a bet with Frieza that he could get Icey to fall in love with him.

Then there was that other time when Frieza made a deal with Zarbon to save his mother planet from being blown up, if Liya Zarbon's ex would marry Frieza and rein as his queen. Since Frieza fell out of favor with Icey only two days of courting her, he decided to marry his cousin Icey, whom he loved to pick on to piss Cooler off, and to humiliate her even more than she needed. He even tried to kill her husband Constantine twice!

Cooler eventually granted first Icey a restraining order for Frieza to stay away from her, and then Constantine was granted a restraining order!

Liya on the other hand went back to work like nothing happened at all, she was just thankful that she was not killed in cold blood, or raped in cold blood in the way that Alice was. However, her sours from being whipped got infected and she had to go to the hospital just to get her back washed to prevent it from infecting!

Either way, everyone forgave Zarbon very hesitantly, forgave each other for agreeing to go and find Zarbon, and went on with their miserable, privileged yet persecuted lives!

End of Story!


End file.
